Alt-Real: What World War? The VICE PRESIDENT. We are here to pass, at the request of the President of the United States, a declaration of war on Germany.  The House has already passed its declaration.  The Nazi leader is recognized.
At the Porcine Housing Authority Once upon a time, there were three Little Pigs and one Big Bad Wolf named Mitch, and they were all members of the board at the Porcine Housing Authority.  In fact, they were all the members of the board at the Porcine Housing Authority.
Bipartisanship I ran into them on the High Road, and it was obvious that they had no idea what they were doing.  If they were ever going to achieve their ... rather odd ... objectives, someone knowledgeable was clearly going to have to take a hand. Apparently, that had to be me.
Cat Planet So, it looked like a friendly enough planet ... oxygen-rich atmosphere, water, abundant plant life.  Signs of relatively advanced civilization, too ... roads, cities.  Big cities.  But empty.  I was having trouble spotting members of the alpha species that had built all of that.  Hmm.
Democratic Elections "In other countries, see ... that is, some other countries ... they just swap out tin-pot dictators by military coups.  There's no ... what you'd call  peaceful exchange of power.  That's where we've got 'em all beat, see?"
Gold Standard Class, today we will study the Fraudulent 21.*  These are the 21 nations in the world with the most fraudulent systems of government.  Can anyone tell me the root cause of fraudulence in government?  No?  It is elections.
Herd Mentality "So, gonna take the vaccine, are ya?"
HOE "Master!  Master!  Red Alert!"
A Jury of His Peers You may have heard of old Dante and his trip to the Inferno, but this is one story that seems to have fallen out of the official account.  It took place just as Virgil, the Roman poet who was Dante's guide through hell, was leading Dante into the Ninth Circle ...
Saharan Dust I once had a world / Or should I say, she once had me?
The Serpent in the Garden The way it really went, you see ...
Shithole Countries The topic in History today was shithole countries.  Never heard the term before, but apparently, it was something they used to have back in the 21st Century.
Sniff Masks  God gave us pecksniffs.  God only knows why.  But it is crystal clear that He intended for us to wear sniff masks to cover the filthy things up.
Two Gods Once upon a time in a universe near, nearby, there were two gods fighting for believers.  According to religious experts, a Two-God System is the optimum religious structure because it gives believers a choice, but isn't too confusing, and gods know, the human brain is not built to handle too much complexity.  So that was all right, then.
Voice of God  I was just walking down the road, talking to  my idiot brother-in-law, when the sky opened up, and God spoke to us.
We Owe That to the People Herald:  This is the Herald, conducting an interview with a representative of the group demanding an investigation.  Sir, could you tell us why your group favors an investigation?