Voice of God

I was just walking down the road, talking to my idiot brother-in-law, when the sky opened up, and God spoke to us.

A little context. Ibil (that is, Idiot Brother-in-Law) and I were talking about recent events.

"Yeah, it was on Facebook," said Ibil. "It was the Antifa that stormed the Capitol, not the patriots!"

"You mean it wasn't all those people wearing red caps and waving Trump flags?" I asked.

"Course not!" he replied. "Well, obviously there were thousands of patriots there to support our beloved president and stop the steal, but they were all peaceful. It was the Antifa that did all the violence!"

"So, Trump incited his mob of supporters to violence, and they marched on the Capitol, where they demonstrated peacefully, while nefarious Antifa operatives with no grievances perpetrated acts of violence? Do you even know what 'Antifa' means?"

"Of course I do!" snapped Ibil. "Do you think I'm an idiot? They're leftist terrorists who hate America and the Constitution!"

"Are you a fascist?" I asked. "Or are you in favor of fascism?"

"Of course not!"he replied indignantly.

"Then you are Antifa," I explained. "It's a short form of 'anti-fascist'. What we saw at the US Capitol was more ... Profa."

"You're twisting my words!" fumed Ibil. "Typical libtard Antifa trickery! They stole the election with massive voter fraud. Everyone knows it! It was planned at the highest level! The President said so!"

"Look," I said, "Trump is the president. He is the highest level."

It was at this point that the Almighty intervened. "Actually, I'm the highest level, but I don't fix elections. Listen, Ibil, this is very simple. Donald Trump was a terrible president. The American people voted him out of office. By a wide margin. Although, why it wasn't wider, even I don't understand. But he lost the election. I will repeat that: Donald Trump lost. Since he is a superannuated child who cares about nothing and no one but himself, and is demented to boot, he cannot accept the simple fact that he lost. So he lied about it. This comes naturally to him. He is a congenital, serial, multiple, recidivist liar. That's all there is to it. His supporters are ignorant yahoos who believe everything he says. So they stormed the US Capitol in the deluded belief that they could save Democracy by destroying it. And that's all I have to say. I don't usually speak directly to people, but that guy really pisses me off!"

And the sky closed back up.

"The Antifa did it," continued Ibil. "It was posted on Facebook ..."