Herd Mentality

"So, gonna take the vaccine, are ya?"

"Na-a-a, ... don't think so."

Bossy was industriously masticating her cud and giving me the universal cow-eye that is so familiar to anyone who has ever attempted to stare down a cow.

"Why not, Bos?" I inquire. "The epidemic has reached, you know, epidemic proportions."

"Bull says it's a hoax and it'll disappear like magic and anyway, herd mentality," mooed Bossy.

"Um, can't begin to untangle everything that's wrong with that statement, Bos. Look, first of all, those three things you said? They're what we call 'mutually exclusive.' That is, they can't all be true at the same time. In fact, no two of them can be true at the same time. Ya follow?"

"Bull says," said Bossy.

"Are you still listening to Bull?"

"Trust Bull," said Bossy. "Bull always tells us what to do."

"Let's back up a step," I ventured, hoping to get Bossy's brain restarted. She did actually take one step back. "This is anthrax we're talking about. Very touch on cows. Long history of not being made up at all."

"What do you know?" lowed Bossy. "You're just a farm dog."

"I am that," I admitted, "but what I'm seeing, farm dog or not, is a lot of dead cows. Don't you see that, too?"

"Bull says, 'herd mentality,'" said Bossy. "Listen to Bull."

"'Immunity,' Bos," I sighed. "I think you mean 'herd immunity.' 'Herd mentality,' you already have down pat."