We Owe That to the People

Herald: This is the Herald, conducting an interview with a representative of the group demanding an investigation. Sir, could you tell us why your group favors an investigation?

Group Rep: Certainly. These allegations strike at the very root of our way of life. They must be investigated thoroughly by the proper authorities because ... a lot of people believe them. A full investigation is imperative to settle the matter, one way or the other. We owe that to the People.

Herald: But haven't "proper authorities" already examined these allegations and found them baseless?

Group Rep: Whoa! You're not going to go Fake News on us, are you?

Herald: Just asking ... because it seems that the allegations have been considered and found to be without merit on several occasions.

Group Rep: That is Fake News! None of those so-called authorities have taken this seriously! It's time to go right to the top!

Herald: There are those who allege that you're only upset because your side is losing. How do you answer that?

Group Rep: Fake News! Fake News! That guy needs to be made an example of!

Herald: Just to be clear, the charges are ...?

Group Rep: Blasphemy! Sorcery! Telling people to be nice to each other!

Herald: Right. And your name is ...?

Group Rep: Judas. But you can call me Ted.