Barn Door  Once upon a time there was a kingdom of horse lovers.  The kingdom was called Horslaff.  It had a king, of course, but real power was divided among a swelter of bickering barons, who couldn't seem to agree on anything, except their love of horses.
The Day of the Voting Brain-Dead   I was standing in line, waiting to vote, when it lurched up behind me.  It was a horror. Slack jaws.  Blank eyes.  Lurching gait.  Poor posture.
Designated Witch  Of course she was a witch.  Everyone said so.  And they couldn't just say that if it wasn't true, could they?  And nobody liked her.  So it had to be true.  If there's one thing the good citizens of Salem can spot, it's a witch.  Still ...
Honor  Excuse me.  Gotta go murder my sister.
In the Foot  Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is G. Ford Kriepers with KFRU Eye on News. 'K fer you, huh? I am on the scene with a gentleman who has just shot himself in the foot.
Little Pigs Once upon a time, there were three Little Pigs and one Big Bad Gluttonous Wolf.  The three Little Pigs knew about the Big Bad Wolf, so they decided to build themselves some shelter post haste.
My Prayers Have Been Answered The Black foreign Muslim Liberal in the White House was enough to shake anyone's faith.  Then they tried to slip a crooked woman in on us.  But God wasn't having any of that, and now we have a good White Christian Conservative man, as God and the Founding Fathers always intended.
Ncutoff  Amidst the bubbling brouhaha surrounding the highly controversial Ncutoff, we have secured an exclusive interview with the Nose.
Respect for the Office  Bobo beeped his shiny nose, flapped his floppy feet, and smiled at the interviewer.
St. Donald and the Dragon You have probably heard the story of St. George and the Dragon.  But you haven't heard it right.
The Tooth Trade  I must first acknowledge that I sympathize with the anti-trade activists.  I admire their heart and their good intentions.  It is their case that is, ultimately, unsound.  I will explain.
What Separates Us from the Animals  It is clear that humankind is of a different order than the beasts.  Precisely what it is that separates human from nonhuman has been a matter of scientific and philosophical debate since the beginnings of science and philosophy.
Who's Driving?   It's my car.  That's the essential point, really.  Wilkins will tell you that it belongs to the Master, but that's because he ... I mean Wilkins ... wants to drive it himself.