Who's Driving?

It's my car. That's the essential point, really. Wilkins will tell you that it belongs to the Master, but that's because he ... I mean Wilkins ... wants to drive it himself.

Ok, it does belong to the Master. Technically. Point taken. But he doesn't drive it. He can't drive it. He doesn't have the skills. He doesn't know the traffic laws. Nor does he understand proper vehicle maintenance. He doesn't put gas in the tank or air in the tires. He doesn't know how to change the oil. He doesn't know the routes to get where he wants to go. He has to depend on me for all of that. That's what a chauffeur is for. To be honest, the Master doesn't always know exactly where he wants to go, and I have to help him with that, too. So for practical purposes, by common law and common sense, the limo is mine.

I know, I know. Wilkins wants to drive it now, but he would do it all wrong, don't you see? He would violate the traffic laws. He would drive too fast and get the Master into frightful traffic accidents. He wouldn't maintain it properly. He wouldn't put in the right kind of oil. He would drive it through dangerous neighborhoods and get the Master lost. He wouldn't get the Master to the right destinations.

Yes, yes. I know the Master said that he wants Wilkins to drive now. But he doesn't really know what he wants, does he? I'm the only one who can operate the vehicle safely. That's why I had to bring the limo home.

So I don't know what you mean by "grand theft auto" and all your other policeman lingo. I can't steal what is already mine, can I? Take it easy with those handcuffs! I'm just going to keep the limo safe for a few months, until the Master dies. Then there will be a new Master, and he will want me, rather than Wilkins.

What do you mean, "What if the new Master also wants Wilkins?" Ouch! Could you loosen those cuffs a bit? No, it's not possible. He's bound to want me! But if not ... well, I can just hold on to the limo until I get the right kind of Master. That's what they pay me for.