Designated Witch

Of course she was a witch. Everyone said so. And they couldn't just say that if it wasn't true, could they? And nobody liked her. So it had to be true. If there's one thing the good citizens of Salem can spot, it's a witch. Still ...

Now that I come at it from this new perspective, it does seem a bit odd. I do believe Reverend Gowdy was the first to spot her as a witch. "She's a witch!" he would thunder from the pulpit. He said it often and loudly.

I was on the first investigative team sent to ascertain the validity of the witchcraft charges. Now that I think of it, I'm not sure where the charges came from. The standard-issue hysterical adolescent girls were conspicuously absent in this case. In fact, our inquiry did not find any ... what you might call "evidence" ... of witch-doing. And so we reported to Rev. Gowdy.

"Wrong answer!" he bellowed, and sent us back to try again. Try as we might, we still didn't turn up any of that ... "evidence" stuff.

So that was still the wrong answer, and Rev. Gowdy appointed a different investigative team, which ... Now that I think of it, still didn't turn up anything witchy. But by that time, everyone knew she was a witch, so we hanged her.

And I'm sure Rev. Gowdy's sect is fully entitled to her land and will make much better use of it than she ever did. Yet ...

I now wonder why we were so sure she was a witch, what with loud and frequent blathering taking the place of actual substance. Of course, nobody liked her. Did I mention that? I don't remember exactly why nobody liked her. I know I didn't. We heard it often enough from the good reverend's pulpit, surely. I guess it was because she was so unlikeable. And that was probably because she was a witch. Except ...

You know, now that I'm standing on the scaffold myself, about to be hanged for witchcraft, I wonder. I'm pretty sure I'm not a witch. That's not something one easily misses in oneself. So, if I am not a witch, maybe she wasn't a witch, either ... Nah! Of course she was a witch. Everyone said so. And they couldn't just say that if it wasn't true, could they?