Anschluss "Anschluss must happen!  We are one people, one race, one opinion!  Mine.  We must be joined, united! They must place a Nazi in every position of power!  But they drag their feet on this!  Get the tanks ready to roll!"
Constricted Options So I'm getting squeezed to death by one of those big snakes.  Anaconda, I think.  Maybe something else.  I'll ask it, if I can ever get in a lungful of air.  This is attracting some attention, though not as much as you might expect.  Most people are just strolling by in that nothin'-to-see-here mode.  Still, I'm hopeful.
Core Business "Government guy to see ya, Santa!"
Devouring Your Own Young  I'm cleaning up in the kitchen after supper.  There is an ominous silence in the den.
Premature So there's this gigantic iceberg sticking through the hull.  The ocean is pouring in like there's no tomorrow, which is very likely true.  We decide to put aside such questions as "How did this happen?" and "Wasn't this thing supposed to be unsinkable?" and concentrate on fixing the immediate problem.  And that is a job for First Mate Mitch.
Imperfect People The Archangel Gabriel had a beef with God.
Sincerely Held You know what makes America great?  Religious freedom, that's what.  The atheists want to limit our freedoms with "laws," but in America, any sincerely held religious belief trumps their "laws."
Sins of the Fathers Another incident.  More violence.  I'm a liberal on the issue.  Can't abide the narrow mindedness and harsh so-called solutions coming out of the NSA.  But I'm no radical, either.  The intentions of the Founding Fathers, as laid out in the Constitution, are very clear.  And who are we to question their wisdom?
Something There Is ... I won.  Everyone said I couldn't.  But I did.  As usual.  And thanks to me, everyone won.
Suspending Parliament Her Majesty the Queen has granted Prime Minister Boris Johnson's request to suspend parliament.  Then, finding that she liked the power rush, she rescinded the Magna Carta and remanded Johnson to the Tower of London, pending beheading.
The Tweedle Axis Tweedledum and Tweedledee agreed to battle the Adversary for Tweedledon.  Tweedledum would be the Committee to Re-elect the President, while Tweedledee would handle the Public Enlightenment.
Wheezing While White Mr. Phineas T. Pibble, 87, was shot to death by police while feeding pigeons in Northwest Park  today.  It was the 247th police-involved fatal shooting of an unarmed old white man in the last three days.
Whistleblower "What we need to know is who that so-called 'whistleblower' is.  That would settle all this in a hurry. He's some liberal partisan hack, mark my words!  Man has a right to face his accuser!"
Why the Blood Bank Fired Me  The new blood bank director is a vampire.  I caught him making a "vithdrawal."  I thought people should know.