Walter was a bit nervous as he entered the gates of Soowee.  It was the second biggest hog farm in the country, and the fastest growing by far.  Many believed that it would be Number 1 by the end of the next quarter!  Walter wasn't sure he could ... well, he wasn't sure he could measure up to the company's reputation for innovation, leadership, customer focus, and obscene profits.  But there was no time to worry now.  First stop:  the Porcine Resources Swine.
    "Welcome to Soo-wee!" bellowed the PR Swine.  Walter came running immediately.
    "You're a darned lucky little porker," continued the PR Swine.  "Many wish to be here, but few ... make the grade.  You'll make out like a pig in slop here, let me assure you.  As long as you're willing to give of yourself to satisfy the Ingestors."
    "Um, what are 'Ingestors?'" asked Walter.
    "The Ingestors are the ones who make all of this possible.  They are the ones who put up the money so that this fabulous enterprise can exist.  Our primary focus is this:  Please the Ingestors!  Remember that!"
    "I will," said Walter obediently.  "But how are we supposed to do that?"
    "Good question!" said the PR Swine.  "We do it by putting our pork bellies on the line 24 by 7 to gain trough share going forward."
    "Trough share?  Going ...?"
    "Absolutely!" said the PR Swine.  "We have to impress the Yard with outstanding quarterly Hog Reports.  Then the Stock Yard analysts will give us a good report, and the value of our stock will go up, and the Ingestors will be pleased.  But to do that, we have to beat the other guys to the trough and chow down like there's no tomorrow!  Remember the company motto:  'Work Like a Horse, Eat Like a Pig!'  You've gotta beat the competition to the trough and jam that snout in up to your ears!  That's known as 'the Magic of the Yard.'"
    "And by 'stock,' you mean ...?" queried Walter.
    "Our employees are our greatest assets," said the PR Swine, somewhat obscurely.
    "So, what about the benefits?" asked Walter.
    "Unparalleled in the industry," the PR Swine assured him.  "We have a comprehensive health plan that includes antibiotics in your food every day.  And all the slop you can gobble down.  Now, can you beat that?"
    "Um, I guess not," said Walter.  "But what about advancement?"
    "This is a meritocracy," grunted the PR Swine.  "The more you eat, the more you get to eat going forward.  The more competitors you can shoulder away from the trough, the faster you move up."
    "Well, that sounds pretty good," said Walter.  "When can I get to it?"
    "It's time for you to meet your manager," the PR Swine smiled.

    Walter's manager was a bloated, affable hog named Harold.
    "Soo-wee!" roared Harold, extending a hoof.  "Welcome to the troughs."
    "So, what do you want me to do?" asked Walter.
    "First of all," said Harold, " let me say that I am impressed with your pedigree."
    "Thank you," said Walter politely.
    "My purpose in bringing you on board is to leverage some synergy going forward."
    "Lever... what?"  Walter was completely lost.
    "We're looking to grow the business, and I'm depending on you to drive those results," said Harold.
    "Drive? ..."
    "Going forward," explained Harold.  "And when you've successfully leveraged that synergy to drive those results, you can transition to greater responsibility going forward."
    Walter couldn't think of a thing to say.
    "I've assigned you Priscilla as a mentor," Harold continued.  "Priscilla is Senior Swiller with two years' experience at Soowee.  That makes her an old timer."
    "Gee, that's great," said Walter.  "So, what's next?"
    Priscilla raised her snout from the trough where she'd been gorging and looked sleepily at Walter.
    "Do this," she said, thrusting her snout back into the trough and leveraging the slop going down.
    Walter didn't have to be told twice.

    Priscilla turned out to be a good mentor.
    "Say, Priscilla, could you translate that 'going forward,' 'leveraging synergy,' 'driving stuff' for me?" Walter would ask.
    "Leave me alone," Priscilla would say.  "I'm eating."
    How insightful, thought Walter:  Don't sweat the baloney.  Concentrate on the job at hand.
    Or Walter would ask about the company philosophy.
    "Go away," she would say.  "I'm eating."
    Precisely, thought Walter.  Precisely!
    Or again, "Priscilla, what are your hopes and dreams?"
    "Shove off.  I'm eating."
    Of course, thought Walter.  Increase that trough share!  Please those Ingestors!

    Walter had never seen the big truck before.
    "What's that?" he asked, looking around for Priscilla.  She wasn't at her accustomed spot by the trough.  Nor was she at the mudhole, which was the only other place he had ever seen her.  Walter found that odd.
    "Harold," he cried.  "What's that big thing with the wheels?  And where's Priscilla?"
    "Great news!" chortled Harold, somewhat off the subject.  "Soowee is Number 1!  Our quarterly Hog Report was ... well, it was better than the other guys', I'll tell you that!"
    "Excuse me," ventured Walter.  "That's great, but have you seen Priscilla?"
    "But I'll tell you what else!"  Harold boomed as if he hadn't heard.  "What really put us over the top was the layoffs!  The Yard loves layoffs, and they're what keep the Ingestors fat and happy, so to speak."
    "Layoffs?" Walter squeaked.
    "Oh, don't worry!" said Harold comfortingly.  "You're not getting laid off yet.  It's the ones who have been around for awhile and gotten fat."
    Now, Walter could see humans herding the hogs onto the truck.
    "But I thought hanging around and getting fat was the whole point," Walter observed.  "You know, you've been around for awhile, and you're getting pretty hefty yourself."
    For the first time, Walter noticed that Harold was sweating like a pig.
    "So, Priscilla ...?"
    "It was her time," said Harold.  "But don't worry.  The company is very humane.  The ones who are laid off get a nice severance package."
    "What's a severance package?" asked Walter.
    "Well, that's actually 'severed and packaged.'"  Harold's voice was getting a bit raspy.
    "What's that ... big thing with wheels for?" Walter asked again.
    "Oh, that's a free, company-provided benefit for our former co-workers.  To make sure they get ... where they're going."
    "And that big human guy getting in behind the wheel?"
    "He ... drives ... the results ..."  Harold was having difficulty forming the customary words.  "Going forward."