Welcome to the Bowels of Bureaucracy!
"We learn from
History
that we never learn SH*T from History."
----- Unanimous*
Satirical tales of bureaucratic derring-do and
derring-don't
from the Poison Processor of Bob Blau.
The
Latest :
Article Zero Today, the White House announced the discovery a
heretofore unknown copy of the United States Constitution, buried
beneath the ruins of the old East Wing. Experts have verified its
authenticity and certified that it supersedes the legacy Constitution
in its entirety. A lot of people are saying that.
Hypocrites Hypocrites, the Greek philosopher, was a contemporary of Hippocrates, the Father of Medicine, whose name does not mean "a bunch of boxes loaded with large semi-aquatic mammals." Hypocrites and Hippocrates are both famous for their oaths.
December 7th BZZT News reports that
the Royal Japanese Navy has launched a surprise attack on the US
Pacific Fleet at Pearl Harbor. The attack began on the morning December
7th at 7:48, and presumably marked an end to months-long negotiations.
Why Don't We Listen? Joe's a decent guy, but he's an awful bleeding heart wuss. Well, a bleeding something wuss. Take his opinions on immigrants. Please.
Autoterrorism There was another drone strike on I-35 this morning. TV
screens throughout the land lit up with the explosion, and the DMV
crowed about the righteous war on autoterrorism.
Faustian Deal Let's call him Mr. Faust for rhetorical and metaphoric
reasons. He answered the knock on the door. The horned and betailed
visitor greeted him with a winsome smile.
The Indictment of Letitia James Breaking news: New York State Attorney General Letitia
James has been indicted on the charge of mortgage fraud. BZZT Radio has
obtained an exclusive interview with Department of Justice spokesperson
... What is your name again, sir?
Interview with the Damlire The damlire is a
loathsome creature from the dank crypts of time. It is similar to the
vampire, with it shares a propensity to suck. Instead of blood,
however, the damlire feeds on reality, from which it sucks the truth.
When a damlire is done sucking, nothing remains but a soggy tissue of lies.
In the Orbit Autocracism is a disorder that used to be diagnosed as greed,
cruelty, megalomania, or narcissism, or just being an asshole. It is now diagnosed as an orbital
disorder, Autocracism Orbital Disorder (AOD), meaning that the sufferer
of the disorder is in orbit around an Autocrat.
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Also see my other site, Bonobo Diary
Graphics, unless otherwise noted, are from
www.uselessgraphics.com
* Unanimous is Anonymous's Evil Twin
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me.