The Zombie Project

So they're all over the place, as usual. Mysterious, unexplained beams from outer space, radiation from atomic explosions, subspace anomalies, quotidian quantum quirks, something in the water. Anything can ignite a zombie plague. Common as algae blooms. Well-known fact.

But the handling of zombie infestations has become a complex issue. The traditional approach of a large application of troops to shoot 'em all in the head is no longer noncontroversial. In a time of vexing budget deficits, the "shoot 'em all in the head" solution is prohibitively expensive. Then there is the burgeoning zombie defense industry. There are zombie repellent products, including ointments, pills, incense, and electronic emitters. There are zombie alarm systems, zombie traps, and zombie-proof fences. All of these have been hugely successful. While none of them has deterred, fooled, or terminated a single zombie, they have brought in millions in revenue. It would be irresponsible to adopt any zombie elimination plan without considering its economic impact.

Then there is the proper division of powers among the Nation, the State, and the City. The national government, following hand-to-hand combat with zombie defense industry partisans on the floor of the legislature, did finally pass a traditional "shoot 'em in the head" plan. That, however, was met with fierce opposition from the State, which criticized the Nation for interference and "overlurching." The State claimed that (1) the Nation couldn't tell them what to do, (2) the plan had too many strings attached, (3) it was too expensive and cut into the profits of important citizens, and (4) the State had its own zombie control plan that was better and cheaper. That plan turned out to be giving more money to the zombie defense industry to make more creams and alarms systems. The people, in support of their beloved State, held angry protests against the national government, waving placards and chanting slogans like "Keep your government hands off our zombies," often followed quickly by "Aaaarrrrgggghh!" Remember. Zombie infestation.

The City, for its part, decided to take measures on its own. It adopted a hunt-and-shoot plan for zombie elimination. The State, staunchly opposed as it was to arrogant, overbearing higher levels of government interfering with the self-government of lower levels, would undoubtedly support this, right? The State's reaction was to accuse the City of breaking State law and to order it to cease and desist immediately.

So it isn't really about proper separation of powers, is it? It never is.