The Invasion
"This emergency meeting of the Defense and Destruction
Organization has been called to address a serious threat to our mutual
security."
"And what is that threat, Mr. President?"
"An enemy of Democracy has attacked our vital interests
by ... "
"Yes? Yes?"
"... infiltrating an old lady!"
"We don't understand."
"A fly, gentlemen! A fly! The old lady
swallowed a fly. Perhaps she'll die!"
"Egads! What shall our response be to this
breach of the peace?"
"First, we shall negotiate. We will give this
fly every opportunity to vacate the premises. But if it refuses,
the DADO response must be swift, sure, and unrelenting."
The assembled delegates nodded in grim agreement.
The transgression must not go unpunished.
The Retaliation
"The fly has not responded to our reasonable requests
to withdraw. Not a buzz. It leaves us with no choice.
Fetch the spider."
"What will that do, Mr. President?"
"She'll swallow the spider to catch the fly."
"What if the spider doesn't catch the fly?
Then what? The bird?"
"Have no fear. Spiders always catch flies.
There will be no need to call in the bird. I promise."
The Escalation
"Has the spider destroyed the fly yet?"
"We don't really know, sir."
"How is the old lady doing?"
"Much worse, sir. Getting sicker by the minute.
Maybe we should stop."
"Never! What would our enemies say?"
"That we know when to quit?"
"Never! We have no alternative but to send
in the bird."
"I thought you said no birds."
"That was before she swallowed the spider.
Circumstances have changed. She must swallow the bird to catch the
spider."
"What if that doesn't work, sir? Will we need
a cat?"
"Nonsense! The bird always works! We
will never commit a cat to this conflict."
Meow
"So, has the bird caught the spider?"
"We don't know, sir. But the old lady is in
terrible straits. We may lose her. I really think we'd better
stop."
"What? Give in now? What would people
say?"
"That we have good sense?"
"Of course not! This calls for a cat!"
"I thought you said no cats."
"That was before she swallowed the bird. Now,
she must swallow the cat to catch the bird."
"And if that doesn't work, do we send in the dog?"
"Poppycock! The cat will catch the bird.
There will be no need for the dog."
Victory
"Mr. President, you were right. There will
be no need for the dog."
"Ah, ha! Of course, I was right! So,
the cat has caught the bird?"
"Not exactly. The old lady choked on the cat
as we were cramming it down her throat. She's dead."
"Well, what happened to the cat?"
"Dead, too. Smothered."
"What about the bird, the spider, and the fly?"
"Well, there's no way any of them could have survived
this."
"Then we have prevailed! Victory is ours!
Our resolve was firm! Our will was strong! Tyranny is defeated!"
"But she's dead, sir."
"But we won. So, we had to destroy
the old lady to save her. It's not the first time, and it won't be
the last."