Your Fault

Your Fault!

A merchant came to market to sell his wares. He carried all the materials needed to set up his stall, and he led a large bull.

The merchant quickly erected his stall and hung out a shingle. The shingle said, "Shoe Polish." Then the bull ambled into position, squatted, and dumped a steaming heap of excrement next to the stall.

"Come and get it!" bellowed the merchant, gesturing grandly at the pile of cow poo. "Quality shoe polish! Make your shoes shine! Lovely to the sight! Pleasing to the scent! Don't go around in scuffed and dirty shoes! Come! Behold! Quality shoe polish!"

But all of the merchant's exhortations fell on deaf ears. The people gave his stall a wide berth, hurrying by with quickened steps and firmly pinched noses.

Finally, one man said, loudly enough for the merchant to hear, "Eeeuw! What a load of bullshit!"

"You!" screamed the merchant. He rounded on the man in a fury, and there was vengeance in his eyes. "It's your fault that no one is buying my shoe polish! Your criticism and negativity make them turn away!"

"My fault?" replied the man. "How hard did you think it would be to tell shit from shinola?"

The ever-brilliant Senator James Imhofe of Oklahoma blames critics of the Iraq war for the military's failure to meet recruiting goals. So ... the fault couldn't possibly be with the monumental liars who cynically brought us this aggressive, illegal, imperialistic war, eh? How dumb does he think our kids are?