The Worm Ouroboros

The Pigmen wallowed out of the swamp and overwhelmed the City. They enslaved the people, robbed them blind, made them fight in the Pigmen's wars. The people did not know what to do ... until someone remembered the ancient City Guardian.

"We must summon the Worm Ouroboros!" cried some.

"Isn't that just an old legend?" replied others skeptically.

"No! No!" insisted the Ouroboros partisans. "Of old, when the City was in peril, the mighty Ouroboros would sweep down from his mountain fastness on fiery wings and toast the invaders with his leathery breath! Or ... maybe it was the other way around. But the point is, he always came to our aid when called. And he really likes pork."

Since no one had another option, all the people of the City set up a cry for the Worm Ouroboros to come to their aid in that time of darkness. Nor were they disappointed, for no sooner had the cry gone up, than the mighty dragon shook off his ages-old slumber, intoned "Oh, bugger! Just when I was having a really great dream about this sexy she-dragon," and soared to succor the City. "Last time," he remembered, "they rewarded me with a nice, tangy succor punch."

When the Pigmen saw the dragon swooping down upon them, snorting fire and flashing claws. they shivered from the tips of their snouts to the splits in their hooves.

"Holy crap!" they cried. "What now?"

"How about we swift-boat it?" suggested one Pigman.

"I don't think this thing is going to be swayed by swift boats," said the others, looking pityingly on their clue-challenged compatriot. "We need a champion to go forth and slay it!"

"Great-idea-don't-look-at-me!" they all agreed.

"Well, I think the Crown Prince should be the champion," suggested one Pigman who, feeling a lot of eyes turning toward himself, was looking for a quick way out. Everyone but the Crown Prince agreed.

And so the Crown Prince of the Pigmen found himself propelled in the direction of the dragon by a crowd that was doing its best to push him forward while themselves going in the opposite direction. At last, the Crown Prince gave way to the inevitable. He advanced to meet the dragon with sword fully extended and eyes tightly closed.

At length, the Crown Prince risked a slitted eye, and what should he see but the dragon? But in a most perplexing posture. The mighty Ouroboros had his tail in his mouth and was chowing down with apparent gusto.

"Excuse me," said the Crown Pigman, curiosity overcoming abject terror, "but what the heck are you doing?"

"Ah!" replied the dragon, somewhat incoherently, due to the tail that was stuffed down his gullet. "You must be one of the Pigmen! I'm eating my tail. I've just discovered ... that is, I never realized how yummy I am. I'll sort your lot out in a minute, but first, I would just like to finish eating myself. If it's all the same to you, that is. I could see to you right now, if you prefer..."

"Oh, no!" replied the Crown Prince affably. "Please take all the time you like!" He may have been an asshole, but he was not a fool.

Ouroboros, of course, is the name of the mythological serpent that swallows its own tail.