Evolutionary Dead Ends: The Wise Rat

We are now familiar with rats as whiskery, furry nuisances with naked tails. But it was not always so. Once upon a time, there was a rat species known as Rattus sapiens, or "wise rat." Sure, they were still whiskery, furry nuisances with naked tails But they were also intelligent. Or so it is said.

Wise rats were toolmakers and engineers and architects. And thinkers. They built shelters to live in and devices to capture and store food. They built sewer systems to facilitate travel. And mazes, of course.

One day, one of these clever rodents had a particularly good idea. He took a rectangular piece of wood and attached a spring, a steel bar, and a trip mechanism. Then he put a piece of cheese in it.

"Wow!" thought the wise rat. "This is going to be the most useful invention in history. It will help us catch food and also kill the Bad Rats, who have the wrong color fur or do things differently, and the Stupid Rats, who aren't smart enough to build a clever device like this. What could possibly go wrong? I will call it a wigwot."

The wigwot was an instant success. Soon, almost every rat had one. Some of the wise rats thought the wigwot was dangerous and a bad idea, and said so, but they were squeaked down. Dangerous, pshaw! No wise rat would be stupid enough to get caught in his own wigwot ... although that cheese was tempting ... But rat rights were at stake here!

Then even the rats with the wrong color of fur and the ones who did things differently started getting wigwots, and a rat had to defend himself, didn't he?

So the wise rats continued their ascent up the evolutionary ladder, proud of their intelligence and secure in their virtue, until they attained their present position among the species of the earth.