"Well, sports fans, this is it!  This is for the championship.  This is the big one.  This is for all the marbles..."
    "Thanks, Jackie.  Heh, heh.  Poobah is leading Yiffniff by the thinnest of margins here in the fourth quarter.  As Jackie says, this is for the district championship.  The score is 7 to 6 with just one minute to go, and Yiffniff has the ball with a first down on its own 32 yard line.  Let's see how Zeke Diddlewop, Yiffniff's highly touted senior quarterback is going to handle this.  Scouts from all the major universities are here, and he hasn't had what you could call a sterling game so far."
    "That's right, Pete.  All the scouts are here.  All eyes are on Diddlewop.  Everyone wonderin' how the kid will do."
    "Uh, right, Jackie.  I wish we could hear what's going on in that huddle right now..."

    "Throw me the ball, Zeke!  Long down the sideline!  I can beat that safety.  Been watchin' him all night.  He's lost a step!"
    "I'm not passing to you, Bart!" said Zeke. "You'll just drop the ball."
    "I will not!" protested Bart.
    "How about me, then, huh?  I'll just do a quick slant pattern.  The middle's been open all day!"
    "Are you kidding me?  You've got molasses on your feet and butter on your fingers.  Who told you you could play tight end, anyway?"
    "But Zeke, ..."
    "Good thinking, Zeke.  They'll be thinking pass.  Let me have it on a draw.  One good block, and I can take it all the way."
    "No way, Bubba!  You'd probably just fumble the ball away."
    "Well, Zeke," said the team as one, "exactly what did you have in mind?"
    "Hey, I'm the star here," said Zeke. "I'm the one all the scouts came to see.  You guys are just making me look bad.  I'm going to carry the ball myself."
    "Uh, that doesn't sound like the greatest plan with one minute and 68 yards to go, but you're the quarterback.  So, I'll block for you."
    "Hank, you're the sorriest excuse for a fullback I've ever seen.  You'll just slow me down.  Probably trip me up, too."
    "Well, I guess it's just us linemen then.  We'll open up a big hole for you."
    "Heck, no!" fumed Zeke. "You'll only get in the way!"
    "But who's going to protect you from those 250-pound guys across the line there?"
    "Not you, that's for sure!  I have specially enhanced protective gear.  They'll just slide right off me."
    "Uh, have you actually tested that stuff?"
    "Well, not successfully, but ..."
    "Ok.  I'm the center.  I'll just snap the ball to you, then."
    "The heck you will!" snapped Zeke. "You'll just bungle it."
    "Uh, exactly what do you want us to do, Zeke?"
    "Get off the field, of course!  You're cramping my style!"
    "It would seem that you're going to get yourself killed."
    "Nonsense!" Zeke insisted. "I'm proceeding from the firm ground of my ego and not from the egos of an illusory team!"

    "Jackie, I've never seen anything like it before in my life!  Ooo!  That has got to hurt!"
    "Right, Pete.  Looks like everyone's piled on there.  Yep, that's all eleven Poobah players.  And the coaching staff.  Make that both coaching staffs.  And here comes the water boy..."
 

U.S. foreign policy in a nutshell.  For just one example, the Bush administration is considering "unsigning" the International Criminal Court treaty.  The Kyoto protocol?  The ABM treaty?  Apparently, we don't think we need no stinkin' treaties.