Why We Had to Drop the Big One

I suppose it's all the angst about nuclear proliferation. And I'm a government spokesperson, so I have to be polite. But really. Talk about old news and questions that have been answered and re-answered so many times that the question mark has worn off. But it's the media, and it is, as I said, my job ...

"Yes, Ken?" Ken is one of the more persistent ones. And, if I may say so, one of the more naive.

"About our use of the atomic bomb at the end of World War II, sir ..."

"Yes?"

"Do you think it was wholly necessary?"

"Yes, Ken, I do," I replied patiently. "And I'll tell you why. We had to do it to shorten the war and save lives."

"But weren't we winning the war with conventional weaponry?"

"Yes, Ken, we were. Unfortunately, the enemy was not inclined to surrender. It's ... a cultural thing."

"That raises a point that some observers have made," said Ken. "That we would not have dropped the bomb if the enemy had been of the same race as we are."

"Ken," I sighed, "it pains me that you could ask such a question. You know we are not racists. The decision was purely strategic and for the reasons I have mentioned. And if I may say so, it was darned fortunate that we developed the bomb first. Can you imagine what would have happened if they had beaten us to it? They are not the rational, peace-loving people that we are."

"I don't doubt that they would have bombed us, sir," Ken admitted, "but since we did, in fact, bomb them, how are we any different?"

"Well, of course, we're different," I explained. "In our hands, the atomic bomb is actually an instrument of peace. We use it only for limited, justifiable military purposes, and as a tool to maintain the peace."

"You said that we dropped the bomb to save lives," quibbled Ken, "but what about the tens of thousands of civilian deaths?"

"It was most important to save the lives of our own young men in arms," I continued patiently. "The civilian deaths were unfortunate, but that's war. Would you rather the deaths had been on our side? Anyway, look at the results. We imposed a very short and very humane occupation, and we never let our ... shall we say, avid? ... European allies, with their crude ideas of vengeance, in on it. In a few short years, our former enemies are now among our closest friends and business partners. Do you think they would have been as kind to us?"

That shut him up a bit.

"Ok," said Ken. "Just one more question. How do you answer the critics who say that it would have been just as effective to drop the a-bomb in New York harbor, rather than leveling the city?"

"Those people," I smiled ruefully, "are merely showing their lack of understanding of Yankee psychology."