Some 65 million years ago, a mass extinction swept the earth. Hundreds of species vanished with barely a trace. Until recently, the cause of this extinction has been a hot debate topic among paleontologists and their ilk. Most believed that it was related to a major asteroid strike that so altered the climate of the earth that the dinosaurs could not survive. Now, of course, we know that climate change cannot cause cataclysms - or indeed, ever happen at all, and recent scholarship has revealed the true cause of the demise of the dinosaurs. It was Obama's fault, and it could have been prevented, if the dinosaurs had more guns.

In his Dialogues, the Greek philosopher Plato tells of a mighty empire called Atlantis that was swallowed by the sea, sometime before 360 B.C., after a failed assault upon Athens. Most scholars have considered this tale pure fantasy until recently. It is now known that Atlantis did exist, that its demise was Obama's fault, and that it could have been saved, had it had more guns.

The fall of Rome is a well known historical event, generally dated at 476 A.D. Many explanations have been advanced, from the rise of Christianity to financial collapse to ill-considered military adventures. These are more properly associated with the demise of later empires, but as for Rome, it was Obama's fault. And they might still be ruling the world today, if they had more guns.

Well, damn, if it ain't hot today!  Been this way all summer, and more on the way, the weatherman says.  This is Obama's fault.  We need more guns.