Who, Me?

The cell chirps. I look. Omigod! It's a text from Leo!

Text from Leo:

Saw you at water hole, 2:01:14 precisely. Every day, same time.

I reply immediately:

Is that some sort of threat?

Text from Leo:

Me? Threaten you? ROL. Course not. Just a warning. Word to the wise.

For the uninitiated, that's "Roaring Out Loud." Lions don't laugh.

Text to Leo:

Hmph. Don't trust you.

Text from Leo:

Too suspicious. Ha ha. Posted yer schedule to Facebook.

Text to Leo:

You did what? Every predator on savannah is on there! That is a threat!

Text from Leo:

ROTVR. Don't be so sensitive. Prey animals too regular, they get taken down. Not by me, of course. Got pictures!

Well, all my stripes and hooves! The heck, that isn't a threat! ("ROTVR" is "Rolling On The Veld Roaring.")

Text to Leo:

Sounds like threat to me.

Text from Leo:

Friendly warning. Tweeted yer schedule to miladies.

Heckfire and darnation! "Miladies" are Leo's evil bitch harem. Of course, he never kills anything, except the last male's cubs! He just sits on his knoll and yawns and texts, while they do all the dirty work. Which gives me an idea.

Text to Leo:

Tweeted location your grassy knoll to human trophy hunters.

Immediate text from Leo:

Say what? You parti-colored excuse for an equine! Are you threatening me?

Text to Leo:

NOL. Course not. Just saying. You shouldn't be so regular.

"NOL." "Neighing Out Loud," of course.