Who Do You Trust?
copyright © 2010 by Robert L. Blau
"So it seems you're suffering from amoebic dysentery."
"Get the hell out of here before I blow yer brains out!" He cocked his blunderbuss noisily. "Yer here to take ma guns away, aintcha?"
"Um, no," I replied, thinking, however, what a good idea that would be. "I'm the doctor you sent for, Mr. Puckett."
"Everyone wants to take ma guns away," Puckett grumbled. "Doctor, eh? Well, cure me, then."
"Yes, I can do that," I said, fluffing up my most reassuring bedside manner. "I have a prescription that ought to do the trick."
"Last guy couldn't do shit," he groused. "Medicine he gave me made me sick."
"Could you be more specific?" I asked.
"Tasted funny," said Puckett. "Upset my stomach."
"Worse than amoebic dysentery?" I shouldn't have said it, but sarcasm was lost on the man, anyway.
"It's right over there. You can see fer yerself." Puckett nodded in the general direction of a standard plastic prescription bottle.
"It's full," I observed. "You couldn't have taken more than one tablet."
"Didn't cure me," he said simply.
"You didn't give it a chance!" I protested.
"Didn't cure," he repeated. "'Sides, I tole ya it made me sick."
Oh, well. At least, I observed, it was the other common kind of medicine for the blasted parasite.
"Ok," I said. "This is a different kind of medicine. It should be easier on your stomach."
"Get the hell out of here before I blow yer brains out!" Puckett roared, seemingly having stepped into some kind of time loop.
"I beg your pardon?" I countered. "I'm not here about your guns. I thought we had established that."
"You haven't cured me, neither!" growled Puckett, fondling his blunderbuss.
"I just got here five minutes ago," I protested. "You haven't even started your medicine."
"You doctors are all the same!" whined Puckett. "Can't trust none of yez! Just make a man sick. This is all your fault!"
"I rather think it's more the amoebas that are making you sick," I suggested, "and more your fault for swallowing their infected garbage, wouldn't you say?"
"Always criticizing the amoebas, aren't you?" he sneered. "If you guys just left our health in their hands ... or whatevers ..., we'd all be a lot healthier!"
Not knowing quite what to say to that, I asked, "If you aren't going to take my advice, even though you did call me, what are you going to do next?"
"Reckon I'll call up the other guy," said Puckett.
"You mean the last guy you ignored and threw out and didn't take his medicine?" I asked incredulously. "Why?"
Puckett shrugged. "Don't have any choice, do I?"