Wake-Up Call

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Yes, sir, I do. It's 4 a.m., sir. This is your wake-up call, sir. Wouldn't want you to miss your boat, sir."

"Oh, yeah." Tony shook the sleepiness out of his eyes. "But that was some wake-up call! I'm not likely to forget that soon!"

It was time to rouse the others. Tony went from room to room, banging on doors and shouting early morning greetings.

"Rise and shine! Rise and shine! This is your tour leader. I just had a really nerve-rattling wake-up call, and it's time to get your stuff together so that we don't miss the ship!"

Ah! The good old Atlantic Queen was waiting to take them home! Then George peeked around the corner of the hotel hall. George was the other tour leader.

"Hey, George!" called Tony affably. "Gettin' ready to board the Atlantic Queen?"

"The Atlantic Queen?" replied George. "Heck, no! I'm taking a different ship. I've been waiting for a chance to ride this baby for - well, forever!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah," continued George. "It's called the Titanic, and it's to die for! Greatest cruise ship ever made!"

"Well, I'm in," said Tony simply. "Ok, everyone! We're taking the Titanic! Hurry up!"

Tony's group was a little slow on the uptake.

"Um, why the change of plans?" asked Tony's groupies.

"No change of plans," replied Tony glibly. "I just got a wake-up call."

"Oh, and what route will this Titanic thing take?" asked Jack, one of Tony's group.

"Through the North Atlantic," answered George.

"Sure. I knew that," said Tony.

"As your assistant group leader," said Jack, "I think it only fair to warn you that that's a dangerous route. You could run into an iceberg."

"Not a chance," retorted George. "And even if we do, the ship is unsinkable."

"Yeah. I knew that," said Tony.

"Well, I don't believe that," said Clare, another of Tony's group. "In any case, the Atlantic Queen follows a safer route. It goes further south, where there aren't any icebergs."

"Forward the Titanic!" bawled George.

"What he said," echoed Tony.

Two days out of port, the ship impaled itself on an iceberg. Tony was furious. He called his group together.

"Now hear this!" he cried. "We will not give an inch to icebergs! We will melt them all!"

"Um, you know," ventured one brave soul, "you bear a ... a rather large share of the responsibility for this catastrophe."

"Nonsense!" retorted Tony. "It's all the iceberg's fault! It floated right into the path of the ship!"

"Maybe," continued the brave soul, "but we never had to be on board this ship. That was entirely your doing. And it isn't as if we didn't warn you."

"Well, I embarked on this great voyage because I got a wake-up call! And I took that call very seriously! But I can see that somebody just rolled over and went back to sleep!"

"Look," said the brave soul, "a wake-up is great to keepyou from missing your departure time. But what good is it, if you get on the wrong ship?"