Under the Bus

As I approached the bus stop, I noticed that the drivers were dividing passengers into two lines. One of the lines led predictably to the front door of the bus. The other was sort of … in front of the bus.

"I say," I said, "what's going on here?"

"Just sorting people out," said one of the drivers.

"Sorting out … for what?" I asked.

"Those who can ride," he replied, "and those who can't."

"I don't understand," I said. "I thought everyone could ride."

He glanced at my bus pass. "Don't worry," he said. "You're all right."

"Still not getting it," I said.

"There's not enough room on the bus," said the driver. "So the … long-time riders get to ride, but the newbies don't."

"But I recognize several of the people in the 'no-ride' line as long-time riding companions," I pointed out. "How come I can go, but they can't?"

"It's your longevity," explained the driver. "You're grandfathered, grandfather. We figure, y'know, it's not gonna be that long before you … give up your seat naturally, if you know what I mean."

I did, I'm afraid. "So what happens to the un-grandfathered?" I inquired. "I suppose they wait for the next bus?"

"Not exactly," said the driver. "You go on the bus, and they go sort of under the bus. Once we start up, of course."

"That seems a bit harsh," I opined. "There must be other options."

"Look," shrugged the driver, "I'm as sweet and kind-hearted as the next guy, but there just isn't room. My hands are tied. Which doesn't mean they aren't still good for pushing."

"I think I have a workable compromise," I offered. "I understand the need to throw someone under the bus, but how about this? Anyone who has ridden before still gets to ride, but anyone who has never ridden before goes under. They won't even complain, because they don't know that there could be a better deal."

The driver thought for a while, then threw up his hands. "You drive a hard bargain," he said, "but ok! I think we can accommodate a heavier load until your generation starts dying off. What can I say? I'm just a soft-hearted guy."

Don't bother to thank me. I'm a soft-hearted guy, too.