The Two Cinderellas

No one ever talks about the first Cinderella anymore.

You may not have known that there were two, in fact. But there were. The first Cinderella was actually placed by FGS -- that's Fairy Godmother Services -- with the same pack of evil/ugly steps as the second one. And she did all the same scutwork and had the same fairy godmother and went to a royal ball -- not the same one, but similar -- to seduce the same prince. And she was doing pretty well, too, until midnight. That's where the story went off in a different direction.

"Heck," thought Cinderella One, "I'm doing so well with the Prince, I think I'll just hang around and seal the deal. Screw my fairy godmother and her arbitrary rules!"

Well, she turned into a pumpkin, of course. No, really. The fairy godmother hadn't quite perfected her craft yet, either. So the fairy godmother sold Cinderella One to a Halloween pumpkin broker, and the FGS washed their hands of her. Then they found the second Cinderella to place with the evil/ugly step pack. And the next royal ball cycle began.

Ok, now, Cinderella Mark II was a smarter cookie than her predecessor, so she bolted the ball at the prescribed time, and everyone knows the rest of the story. Except for one detail.

Following her sale to the pumpkin broker, Cinderella One became known as "Orangie," and she maintained a connoisseur's interest in royal ball management and prince seduction. When Cinderella Two scarpered at the appointed hour, Orangie was professionally offended.

"She was premature," chided Orangie. "I should know. I have a lot of experience in these matters."

Michael Brown, the guy who botched Katrina relief by dragging his feet, criticizes the Obama administration for acting too fast on Sandy relief.