twisting words

Twisting Words

    As election day approaches, the charges and counter-charges fly thick and fast. How are the voters to know the truth? Fortunately, we, the even-handed and impartial media, are here to separate the wheat from the chaff.
    Senator Douglas refused today to comment on the Mexican-American War Veterans for Truth's charges of treason and denial of Manifest Destiny against Mr. Lincoln. However, he did make this comment on Mr. Lincoln's position during the war: "Mr. Lincoln says we should give California, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Utah, and Texas back to Mexico. I strongly disagree!"
    In fact, as a US Representative from Illinois, Mr. Lincoln did oppose the Mexican-American War at its inception and disputed President Polk's contention that the Mexicans had fired the first shots. He has not made any comments about returning the territories won to Mexico, nor did he say anything about returning Texas, which was not booty of the Mexican-American War, to Mexico.
    The debate over slavery has also heated up, with Senator Douglas touting his policy of Popular Sovereignty, and Mr. Lincoln arguing for a complete ban on slavery in the new territories.
    "Mr. Lincoln wants us to free all the slaves and send them back to Africa, after our brave seamen fought and died to bring them over here," charged Senator Douglas. "And our brave plantation owners sank so much good money into buying and breeding them! I strongly disagree."
    What Mr. Lincoln actually said was that he opposes spreading slavery to new territories. He does not oppose slavery in established slave states.
    For his part, Mr. Lincoln has charged that Senator Douglas has received $50,000 in campaign contributions from slave owners, when the true figure was $49,000.
    So, as you can see, politicians are always twisting each others words. They're all the same, huh? Not a dime's worth of difference. All of America should be grateful to the impartial, unbiased media for providing analysis in times of turmoil and for giving equal weight to mammoth distortions and borderline irrelevant crap.

Of course, Stephen Douglas was nothing like the vicious Rovian portrayed here. That is a creature of modern times. This much is true: Douglas did espouse "popular sovereignty," and Lincoln did not oppose slavery in established slave states. Also, he did oppose the Mexican-American War and did dispute the official line that Mexico "started it", something that won him no love from the jingoes of his day.