Tweet Your Disappointment

I'm a seed-eater, myself, but I have no problem with those that eat grubs and insects and such. To each their own, I say. You can't help how your beak is formed or how your digestive system works. Now, when it comes to eating one's own kind, the debate starts getting contentious. Rats? Lizards? I say, fine. But anything with feathers? I think that's getting too close to home. I realize that I am in the minority here, however, and I must allow that honest birds may differ on matters of conscience. It's the carrion-eaters that really get up my beak.

It isn't simply that they eat carrion, disgusting as that is. Clean-up crew and all that, you know. Someone has to do it. It's their insistence that everyone else foot the bill for them, collude in keeping anyone else out of the clean-up business, and peck their tail feathers for the privilege of supporting their ... habit. Oh, yes. And buying the Bird House to carry out their bidding.

All of which leads me to the on-going argument I have with my friend Biddy. Biddy is a political activist, which I respect, but ... let's get to the meat of the argument.

"You must tweet your disappointment to your Bird House representatives immediately!" Biddy urges.

"But I'm not disappointed," I reply.

"Do you mean to say that you're in favor of massive give-aways to the vultures?" she gasps. "How could you be?"

"Of course, I'm not," reply.

"But that is exactly what your BH reps just voted for!" explains Biddy, as if to a chick. "Tweet them immediately!"

"But 'disappointment' implies that I expected something different," I explained. "They never disappoint me. I always know exactly how they're going to vote."

"But it isn't right!" squawks Biddy, beside herself. "You can't expect them to change unless you tell them that you, their constituent, are disappointed!"

"What you are missing, Biddy dear," I explain, not without patience, "is that I can't expect them to change at all.They work for the vultures, not for us. Heck, they are vultures, or hadn't you noticed? I am not their constituent. I never voted for either of them and never will. They don't care what I think or say. They were elected to serve vultures, financed by huge infusions of vulture nest feathers, voted in by bird brains too stupid to know when to fly south for the winter."

"You must tweet them immediately," insists Biddy. "That's how our political system works. If it did work, that is."