"The fizbop is a fleshy, slug-like creature of no intelligence, M'Lud. It has no use that anyone has been able to discover. Why anyone would put the welfare of some obscure, useless species before the needs of the citizens of this great nation is completely beyond me."

    "I object, M'Lud. The Endangered Species Protection Law does not require a species to be useful or intelligent in order to be protected. In any case, the uselessness of this species has not been established. And they look a bit more like toads, if you ask me."

    The judge scowled and shook his powdered wig. "Counsel for the Defense is out of order. Counsel for the Plaintiff, please continue."

    "My clients have a right to develop that real estate. The documents previously presented to the Court prove ownership. The ESPL is in direct conflict here, not only with specific statutes, but with age-old common law and precedent concerning the ownership and development of land. The property-holders, and indeed the general citizenry, have repeatedly expressed their displeasure with the ESPL. It protects useless species at the public's expense. This is misguided and economically damaging. Furthermore, it does nothing to protect the environment."

    "M'Lud, I must object again. This is a transparent attempt to gut a useful law for the benefit of monied interests. If the real estate is developed, it will destroy the fizbops' environment. They are particularly dependent on the local water supply. We do not really know what the environmental impact will be."

    "Overruled!" growled the judge.

    "As to the environment, M'Lud, I have a zoological study that proves that the fizbop actually has a negative environmental impact. It is that rare species that actually fouls its own nest. To destroy it would be an environmental service."

    "Objection, M'Lud! That study was financed by the Plaintiffs. It is inconclusive at best. The Defense admits that the fizbops are ugly, stupid little spuds with no discernible significance to the universe. I admit that if I saw any in my neighborhood, I would instantly get out the Pest Away spray. But they are a unique species. They exist nowhere else in the universe. Do we have the right to exterminate them?"

    "Enough!" snapped the judge. "I have heard enough. I find for the Plaintiff. I find that property law takes precedence over the ESPL. As prime real estate becomes increasingly rare in the Upsilon sector, I find that our citizens' rights take precedence over some slug or toad. For instance, the second or fourth planet in that system would be totally worthless. I find it laughable that one of the few planets at optimum distance from its sun should be populated by such a pathetic species. I see no significant environmental impact from the extinction of one insignificant species on a remote, but potentially lucrative, planet. This court is now adjourned. Drinks are on me, or my name isn't M'Lud! G'Zat, you argued brilliantly. B'Dok, you were pretty pathetic, but join us, anyway."

    M'Lud slithered off the bench and extended a tentacle to each attorney. B'Dok quivered his shoulders.

    "You win some and lose some," he said.