Too Time-Consuming

"I want that report changed," he said, "and I want it changed now!"

"That would be very unwise, I'm afraid," I replied. "Not to mention dangerous. We need to act now, not temporize and quibble about details."

"I'm not talking about details!" he snapped. "You know, you're always poking yourself into things that are none of your business. These procedures you suggest are too expensive and time-consuming."

"Now, you know it isn't just me, A.O.," I said patiently. "The others are all in agreement."

"That doesn't change the fact that your so-called remedies are too costly and too much trouble!" griped A.O. "Anyway, how did a Nose get to be Chair of the BWP?"

"It was just my turn," I sniffed. "The others elected me Chair of the Body Wellness Panel. You know that. You also know that the Brain has presented compelling evidence that this is cholera. We need to rehydrate and seek medical attention without delay."

"It'll take too long," A.O. insisted.

"I don't understand you, A.O.," I snorted. "You complain about treatment taking too long, and yet your solution is to keep wasting time. What's that about?"

"Everything is fine," pouted A.O. "I've never had such a plentiful harvest. My Brain says your analysis is wrong. "

"Your ..., " I sputtered. "You mean Sidney?"

"Sure," replied A.O.

"Sidney the Kidney?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?" said A.O. defensively.

"I don't think I need to explain that," I chided. "I know you're getting a lot of ... action right now. That's the diarrhea. As an Anal Orifice, you may find this a positive development, but I assure you, if we don't act immediately, the Body is going to die."

"There's no proof of that," retorted A.O. "It's too early to panic. This needs a lot more study."

"When the Body dies, you die, too," I pointed out. "Don't you get that?"

"It's too expensive and time-consuming," insisted A.O.

I guess that's what being an asshole means.