Too Controversial
copyright © 2004 by Robert L. Blau

    "What do you mean, you can't broadcast this?"

    "It's way too controversial, sir.  CBS can't be responsible for spreading stuff like this."

    "Well, frankly, I think a bit of controversy would not be a bad thing in these times.  It is good for the people to debate issues.  But I don't know what it is you find controversial in this document.  Would you please explain?"

    "Certainly.  Your language implies support for equal rights for homosexuals and ..."

    "What?  Where?  Oh, you mean where it says, 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal?'"

    "Yeah, that's it.  'Self-evident,' yet.  Says who?  And it isn't just the homos, you know.  What do you think the Negro slaves are going to think when they hear this?  Slave traders are among our biggest advertisers.  And then there's the women ..."

    "It only says 'all men.'  There's not a word about women!"

    "Yeah, but you know the women are going to get on to us about that.  They'll want to know why it does only say 'all men.'  The Colonial Broadcasting System can't risk that kind of brouhaha."

    "Well, how come it's ok to broadcast whatever propaganda King George puts out?"

    "Taxation without representation and western land settlement policy are not controversial.  They're good for the ruling class."

    "Hmph.  I should have expected as much of you.  This is precisely the problem of living under a tyrannical government.  Some day, these colonies will be an independent democracy, and we, the people, will never have to deal with this kind of silliness again."

    "If you say so, Mr. Jefferson."