Those Darn Illegals

We all owe a debt of gratitude to Sen. John McCain for informing us that "there is substantial evidence that some of these [wild] fires were caused by people who have crossed our borders illegally" and that they were set "to signal others; ... to keep warm; and ... to divert law enforcement." Bravo, Senator, bravo! Since that enlightening speech, other nefarious machinations by illegal aliens have come to light. These include, but (obviously) are not limited to ...

The hottest summer in recorded Texas history. We know there's no such thing as global warming because our governor told us so. Now, we have an explanation. There is significant speculation that illegal aliens have engineered the record number of 100+-degree days, the extraordinary drought, and the average temperature of nearly 90 degrees to discourage the INS from stepping out of doors. And to make it easier to set those fires, of course.

The earthquake on the east coast. There is quite a bit of data to suggest that the earthquake was caused by illegal aliens to divert attention while they scuttled across the border.

Hurricane Irene. There is very suggestive chatter that illegal aliens were responsible for Hurricane Irene. The obvious purpose was to create a lot of low-paying clean-up jobs that they could steal from hard-working Americans.

The debt-ceiling crisis. After most probably creating the US deficit, there is serious reason to believe that illegals were behind the debt-ceiling impasse. Since the US Congress had never before had any trouble raising the debt-ceiling in the history of history, I think it's pretty obvious who was to blame here.

And a small goat was seen, hauling tail for the desert. It is reliably reported that it has some connection to illegal aliens.