"This meeting of the Ethnic Cleansing Committee of the Podunk
Independent School District will now come to order. Kudos to everyone
on the Committee for a successful redistricting effort that will keep our
schools better, uh, sorted out. On to new business. The Chair
recognizes the representative of the Not White Elementary School."
"That's the Off White Elementary School,
Sir. Our PTA would like to propose a change in our children's tracking."
The Chair scratched his head. "Tracking?
I think we keep pretty good track of the little buggers as it is."
"Not that kind of tracking. We mean
the succession of schools that they go to. Right now, our children
track to the Not White Middle School before going to the White High School.
The other elementary schools track to the White Middle School before going
on to the White High School. All of the 'vertical' events involve
the various White Elementary Schools, the White Middle School, and the
White High School. So, our children get left out in the middle, as
it were. It's only logical that our children follow the same route
as the others. Therefore, we propose that you change the tracking
to follow the logical course."
"I want to understand your motivation," said the
Chair. "Are there any issues besides logical tracking?"
"No, Sir."
"Great! Then we have a solution that will make everybody
happy. From now on, the children from the Not White Elementary will
track to the Not White Middle School and the Not White High School."
"Wait!" squawked the PTA rep. "That won't
work! And that's Off White, Sir."
"Why not? I thought we had answered all of
your issues."
"Well, maybe there are just a couple more, now that
you mention it."
"Yes?" coaxed the Chair. "They wouldn't be
racial, would they? You aren't opposed to the Ethnic Cleansing Program,
are you?"
"Oh, absolutely not! We're in favor of it,
as long as it's done to someone else. Maybe we can live with the
Not White Middle School, but we must have the White High School back.
The Not White High School isn't a good school."
"But it is performing well according to all the
usual parameters: graduations, test scores, and so on."
"But not as well as the White High School!"
"Actually, the Not White High School has a better
rating than the White High School."
"Well, it's a dangerous school. There was
a shooting at the Not White Middle School a few years ago, and the Not
White High School has a reputation for violence."
"Hmm. No problems there in the last five years.
Wasn't there an abduction from the White High School parking lot?
Anybody know if they ever found that body?"
"When people find out that we're tracking to the
Not White High School, no one will want to live in our neighborhood.
The property values will go down!"
"Well, that's what you get for living in a Not White
Neighborhood!"
"It's not Not White!"
"Well, if you'd just be content to track with your own
racial group, ..." began the Chair.
"This is not about race!" bristled the PTA
rep. "Why do you keep trying to make it sound like it is?"
Written with the hope that this will not be a metaphor for our children's educational experience ...