The Salmonella Myth

There is no such thing as salmonella. It's a fraud perpetrated by egg-hating radicals.

Let's look at the theory, and it's important to remember that is exactly what it is: just a theory. The Salmonella Poisoning Theory. The theory goes that there are invisible little beasties in some eggs, and when you eat the eggs, you get violently ill. People have been getting sick since the dawn of people. There's nothing unusual about that, no magical mystical deep dark secret to it. People get sick from a multitude of simple, common causes: cold, allergies, demonic possession. There is no reason to go prying into eggs for bizarre explanations. And notice: it isn't all eggs. Just some. So if I eat an egg and don't get sick, that's because I ate a good egg. But if someone gets sick, and they ate an egg, it's because they ate a salmonella egg. And just about everyone eats eggs, right? How convenient.

So it's a lot of rot, right? But even if it turns out that there is such a thing as salmonella, we shouldn't be hasty about recalling eggs or anything. Because even if there is salmonella, we can't be sure that it's responsible for this outbreak of illness or just how harmful it may be. Answering such questions requires further study. Years of further study. With committees. And reports.

Ok, worst case. There really is such a thing as salmonella, and it does make people violently sick. Is that any reason to recall thousands of eggs? Human health has to be balanced against economic considerations. What's more important to you: your income (which, according to me, is at risk) or somebody else dying? Obvious, isn't it?