This is sick!!! Please read... SCARY

Not even the bovine-biased wicky ... wacky ... pedia ... whatever can deny this. Google it! It'll curl your trotters! Was this hidden in the hundreds of pages of the Wooden House bill? (Well, actually, no, but that's beside the bogus point I'm trying to make.)

There's a cloven-hoof exception for cows! Cows can take it, but us pigs can't! They don't have to build wooden houses, but we do! Because they have cloven hooves, and we also have cloven hooves, but it's not for us. Because it's a nefarious government conspiracy. By the cows. Even though there isn't a single cow in the government. That's what makes it so insidious. See? But they do get the protection of wooden houses, free! (But don't ask me to explain that, because I can't. But you can take my word for it.)

The Wooden House bill is intended to turn us all into cows. Because our piglets, who have not yet developed strong species identification, will be seduced by the cloven-hoof exception, see? If they cross the pasture, they don't have to build a wooden house, but they can have one for free!

This is an emergency! Tell everyone you know!

Of course, no one is even talking about brick houses. That would be just ... unporcine! I know because I have a furry friend who tells me these things.