The Rules

It wasn't at the expected location, and we were starting to get desperate.

"I don't understand," I said to Rhonda. "It's always been here before."

"That's right," she said. "I thought it was a Rule."

"Right. You diligently run the maze, and ... there's a reward at the end."

"But never mind!" Rhonda cut in excitedly. "There's a button! Right over ... there!"

"Great!" We both broke into a run. The buttons were fail-safe. We poked away with our noses.

Nothing happened.

Rhonda reeled back on her haunches. "How come there isn't any cheese!?" she gasped.

"Ok, let's take a deep breath and think about this," I suggested. "Have we been following the Rules?"

"Yes, I think so," Rhonda mused. "Well, of course, we have! So, why haven't we found any cheese? The Rules are universal!"

"Yes, ... um, maybe not exactly universal ... Maybe it's just that we haven't persevered long enough."

"Right!" Rhonda rejoined. "We've only tried one button! Let's go!"

Two hours and fourteen fruitless buttons later, we were running out of ideas. Then they showed up.

"Oh, no! Not Dingus and his gang!" cried Rhonda with a strangled squeak.

Dingus and his cronies were another bunch of rats who shared the maze. They were mean, nasty, ugly, and stupid. We tried to steer clear of them, and usually did a good job of it.

"But look!" I whispered. "Just wait a moment, and all will be taken care of!"

"Ah, ha!" Rhonda replied. "You're right! Now, they'll get theirs!"

Dingus and his gang were eyeing a zapper! They had always been too stupid to figure out the difference between the cheese buttons and the zappers, which delivered a healthy jolt of electricity. Rhonda and I tried desperately to muffle our snickers, so as not to warn the fools of their impending shock. Dingus pressed the zapper ...

And was rewarded with a veritable cornucopia of cheese, which he and his gang proceeded to devour.

"I don't get it," complained Rhonda. "We followed the Rules. We ran the maze, but there was no cheese at the end. We pushed the buttons, but got no reward. We eschewed the zappers, and yet Dingus and his goons pressed one and were rewarded with a banquet."

"Just wait until they move off!" I had an inspiration. "Maybe the Rules have been modified a bit. But if there's one thing I know about them, it's that they apply to everyone equally!"

When Dingus's gang had sauntered around the next turn, I raced to press the zapper. The shock knocked me right on my hairless tail. Gales of laughter washed over us. Dingus and his buds were rolling on the floor.

"Our rules now," gasped Dingus, drowning with laughter. "Our rules!"

Don't expect Karl Rove to suffer consequences for breaking the law.