Royal Chili Chef

The Royal Chili Chef insisted that it was not the drano in the chili that killed the king, but the new king sacked him anyway.

"It's drano chili that made this country great," said the former Royal Chili Chef. "That, and lots of germs. Puts hair on your chest, among other places. You can't expect to be the toughest kingdom in the world with wimpy chili."

The new Royal Chili Chef adopted a nothing-hotter-than-jalapenos policy and instituted some hygiene measures. Such as washing his hands before making the chili.

"This is going to be the ruin of the kingdom!" declaimed the former Royal Chili Chef. "You mark my words!"

But the new Royal Chili Chef was undeterred. Four years later, the crown prince got sick after eating a bowl of chili.

"Ah, ha!" cried the drano chef. "It's just as I warned you! Your weak chili has poisoned the prince!"

"We're not even sure it was the chili," said the assistant Royal Chili Chef. "We'll let you know when the doctor gets his test results back."

The next day, the results were back, and there was no doubt. It was food poisoning from some bad beef in the chili!

"Ah, ha!" repeated the drano chef. "And again, ah, ha! Not only was I right, but the Royal Chili Chef is trying to cover it up!"

"It was just a matter of getting all the facts in," said the assistant. "We never hid anything."

"Ah, ha!" said the drano chef. "See how she changed her story? Flay the bitch alive! This isn't just a cover-up, it goes to the heart of the Royal Chili Chef's failed nothing-hotter-than-jalapenos policy! This proves we need drano in the chili! And it only took four years for me to find something I could spin that way!"