Retirement

"How can you even talk about retirement, Herb? We have a mortgage, two car payments, two kids in college, car insurance, ..."

"Now, now, Marge. You just relax. I've got it all covered. Don't forget my fully featured pension plan."

"What pension plan?" wailed Marge. "Your company just absconded to the Bahamas with your pension plan!"

"Not a bit of it," said Herb soothingly, "and what my pension doesn't cover, Social Security will."

"I'm not so sure about that," Marge pouted. "Social Security doesn't look all that solid to me. And I wish you wouldn't smoke that thing so much!"

"This thing?" chuckled Herb. "Why, this 'thing,' as you call it, is Claude."

"There must be thousands of men in the world who don't name their smoking paraphernalia," sobbed Marge, "and I have to marry the one who does!"

"It's just the two pipes," replied Herb. "Claude and Eustace. That's all."

"Herb, that's demented," sniffed Marge. "Almost as demented as thinking you can retire with all those unpaid expenses."

"You worry too much," smiled Herb contentedly. "Everything is taken care of. Our golden years stretch before us, an unending vision of tranquility, comfort, and freedom from care."

"Oh, Herb!" sighed Marge. "You have taken care of everything, haven't you?"

**********

Claude awoke with a start and tapped the ashes out of his bowl.

"Hey, dude!" cried Eustace. "You ok?"

Claude continued to shake his bowl for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "What a nightmare!" he gasped. "I dreamed I was a human."

"No way, dude! I am sorry!"

'And that's not all!" continued Claude. "I dreamed I was retiring!"

Claude and Eustace had a good laugh about that.