copyright © 2003 by Robert L. Blau

Special to the Daily Dishrag - Following his harrowing escape from Guantanamo Bay, reporter Brian Beegle has been temporarily restricted to less trying assignments.  This is his first fluff piece.

Brian Beegle:  Mr. Pot, it has been reported that you described the Kettle as being black.  Is this true?
The Pot:  Absolutely true, Brian.  I'm amazed that he has the gall to be seen in public.
BB:  Some people have observed that, considering your own, uh, dusky demeanor, the "black" charge is just a tad hypocritical.
TP:  Filthy, dirty, ugly, and obscene.  That Kettle needs a good scrubbing.
BB:  But how do you reconcile the Kettle's alleged blackness with your own ... swarthy appearance?
TP:  Where as I am a freshly scrubbed, sparkling, shining beacon to all kitchenwarekind.
BB:  But that's just the point.  There are those who say that you have a certain sootiness of complexion.
TP:  What's that?  Slander!  It's that evil Kettle and all the traitorous pot-hating Kettle sympathizers.  Liars, one and all!
BB:  Why would these ... utensils lie about you?
TP:  They're just evil.  And they hate me for my sheen.
BB:  You know, I've seen the Kettle, and ...
TP:  Boiled hard and put away charred, eh?
BB:  Well, it does have some black marks on it, but on the whole, it isn't that bad.
TP:  Not that bad?  I see they've sent an agent provocateur to interview me!
BB:  And I can't help noticing that your exterior is, uh, darker than the norm.  A bit.
TP:  I'll have you boiled for this!
BB(sigh):  Oh, put a lid on it.