"Look, I need that report by noon today.  Management is very unhappy with you."
    "I'm sorry, Hori.  What report is that?  There's the weekly status report, the weekly time sheet, weekly reporting against project plans, biweekly project review ...  There are so many, I'm afraid I lose track sometimes."
    "Reporting against project plans is daily now.  Uh, no, no!" Hori sputtered.  "None of those.  This is the weekly Plague Elimination Report."
    "Oh, Gods!  Not that.  You mean, someone is actually reading those?"
    "Khety, Khety, Khety!  Of course, they are!  Don't you know that our goal is to make the kingdom 97% plague-free?  The Pharaoh himself is taking an interest in these reports.  He's very upset with you, and, considering that my head is on the line here, so am I."
    "I don't get it," said Khety.  "Plagues have come and gone for years.  You can't stop all of them.  Don't the other magicians have plagues in their jurisdictions, too?"
    "Not like you, Khety.  Do you realize that you've had nine in the last month?  The other magicians are making their 97%.  You're the only one who's messing up the metrics."
    "Well, yeah, but they don't have to deal with the damn Jews!  The other guys get the easy slaves to deal with, the ones with wimpy fertility goddesses.  I'm the only one who's stuck with a divine psychopath!"
    "Nobody made you take this job," scolded Hori.  "A lot of people would be very happy to be a Court Magician."
    "But you don't know what those Jews are like!" protested Khety.  "That guy Moses calls me up every day.  I can't even understand what he's talking about half the time!  Some kind of speech impediment.  And no patience!  I try to tell him that I have reports to do and other slaves to look after as well.  I tell him I'll research his complaints.  But is that enough?  Are you kidding?  He wants results by close of business, or it's another plague."
    "You're a Magic Analyst III, Khety.  You're supposed to be able to handle this stuff."
    "Well, doesn't my long record of accomplishment count for anything?"
    "Parlor tricks," said Hori reproachfully.  "Turning staffs into serpents isn't going to cut it anymore.  The Pharaoh is losing patience.  Just the other day, he asked for a nice glass of water to slake the royal thirst, and you know what he got?"
    Khety winced.
    "Yes, blood!  That's what he got!  And there was a dead locust in it!"  said Hori with horror.  "Even that might not have been so bad, if he hadn't still been suffering from a great big boil on his royal ass!"
    "Well, I hate to mention this," ventured Khety, "but there is a solution to this.  After struggling with Moses' demands and threats these several weeks, difficult as he is to understand, I can tell you that what he wants is for us to free his people.  How about that for a solution?"
    "Always looking for the easy way out, aren't you?" Hori chided.  "No, the Pharaoh has ruled that right out.  You'd better get busy explaining how you let those plagues get through."
    "Um, how can I tell when it's noon in this darkness?  How can I even work, for that matter?"
    "Oh, yeah.  That reminds me.  Darkness hasn't even been reported by Plague Control yet.  You'd better add that to the list."
    "Well, Moses is threatening something else for tonight.  I think I'd better attend to that first," suggested Khety.
    "No can do," said Hori.  "I have a meeting with the Pharaoh this afternoon.  I have to have the report by then.  Tomorrow is not an option.  His Majesty has planned a big day with the Crown Prince."