The People's Bridge

A vicious troll lived under a bridge which, in classic troll fashion, it guarded with enthusiastic cruelty. Whenever a person ventured onto the bridge, the troll would sally forth, roar loudly, and devour the unfortunate bridge crosser with speed, vigor, and sometimes, just a sprinkle of pepper. People soon got tired of this.

So they held a great meeting to decide what to do about the troll. They had a couple of problems. The first was that the people really needed to be able to cross the river, and the bridge was the only way across. The second was the troll. It was clear that they either had to kill the troll or build another bridge. They decided on the latter course of action because it was more humane and less dangerous. One thing they all agreed to before beginning construction: this was to be the People's Bridge. It was to be free and unencumbered to anyone who wished to use it. This lesson they had learned from the troll's tyranny over the other bridge. This would distinguish the people's behavior from the troll's.

From the beginning, the new bridge was a big success. People and goods moved freely. Commerce flourished. No one was devoured. Then a concerned citizen appeared before the mayor and city council with distressing news: trolls had been seen crossing the People's Bridge!

The mayor was shocked! The city council was shocked! Something had to be done!

And so armed guards were put on the bridge. The people were still allowed to pass freely, but, whenever a troll attempted to cross, the guard sallied forth, roared, and devoured it. This was, at first, disgusting. However, the rules for guarding bridges had been well laid out from ancient times, and they had to be observed. The guards soon ... acquired the taste. A new status quo was established.

Then another citizen appeared before the mayor and city council. This one had only one arm.

"I have a complaint to make," said the one-armed man.

"Oh? Yes?" prompted the mayor.

"Yes," continued the one-armed man. "I attempted to cross the People's Bridge last week, and I was attacked by the guards. Being rather light of foot, I managed to escape, but, as you can see, I lost an arm."

"Are you sure?" asked a city council member.

The one-armed man examined his empty sleeve.

"Yes," he said.

"The guards are authorized to attack trolls," intoned the mayor severely.

"But," the one-armed man pointed out, "I am not, as any fool can plainly see, a troll."

"Well, I can't see that," said the mayor. "I have the power to decide who is, and is not, a troll. And if my guards have been snacking on your limbs, I am quite sure that you are a troll!"

The city council was shocked.

"Explain yourself!" they demanded of the mayor.

"Of course," he smiled. "You don't have to be a troll to be a troll. To put it another way, trollish is as trollish does. A person may give aid and comfort to the trolls. That would make him a troll, and he would forfeit all right to use the People's Bridge."

"This is a new concept to us," said the city councilors. "How are we supposed to know who these troll-people are?"

"I already told you that," said the mayor impatiently. "I tell you. I or my designated representatives."

"This is outrageous!" fumed the council members. "Calling a human being a troll? You have no such authority! We are not going to stand for this!"

"Hear, hear!" cried the one-armed man.

"We will assert our authority!" declared the council.

"And how are you going to do that?" asked the mayor smugly.

"We hereby grant you the authority to designate people as trolls!" roared the council. "That'll show you who's boss!"