A Pearl of Great Price

It happened one day that a poor pearl diver happened upon a most unusual pearl. This pearl was not only enormous in size, but it had an almost unearthly luster and was simply exquisite in every way. The diver took the pearl home to his village, and the village immediately began to prosper.

Well, it didn't take long for the people of the village to connect their good fortune to the marvelous pearl. Indeed, the prosperity spread out from the village like waves from a stone dropped in a still pond. The village was soon the center of a thriving state, and the people of the state became known as the People of the Pearl.

Not surprisingly, the fabulous pearl drew the attention of many other people, some of whom were eager to steal it for their own. After a few attempted thefts, the People of the Pearl realized that they needed to take serious steps to protect their treasure. They elected an official called the Keeper of the Pearl, whose job it was to secure the pearl against theft. This official was empowered to take whatever measures were necessary to keep the pearl safe, even if the measures might ordinarily be illegal. And for this purpose, they gave him the power to pardon people, in case someone committed a crime in defense of the pearl. Then, to keep the Keeper honest, they also elected a Pearl Protection Panel, or PPP, which was empowered to fire the Keeper of the Pearl for just cause.

One day, some International Jewel Thieves attempted to steal the pearl. They were not successful, but they came pretty close. The People of the Pearl were frightened. They elected a different International Jewel Thief to be the Keeper of the Pearl. They elected him because he said he was the only person who could protect the pearl from those other International Jewel Thieves. The People of the Pearl, like most people in the world, thought that every conflict was a conflict between Good Guys and Bad Guys. Since the International Jewel Thieves who had attempted to steal the pearl were obviously Bad Guys, the Keeper of the Pearl, who promised to fight them, was obviously a Good Guy. What the People of the Pearl didn't understand was that this was not a conflict of Good Guys vs Bad Guys, but of one gang of International Jewel Thieves vs another gang of International Jewel Thieves.

Actually, there were a few among the People of the Pearl who warned that the Keeper was dangerous and meant to steal the pearl. They begged the PPP to fire him, but the PPP thought that would be unpatriotic. After all, everyone who said he was on their side must be a Good Guy.

So the Keeper of the Pearl and his gang of International Jewel Thieves stole the pearl. The People of the Pearl were outraged, and they called on their law enforcement agencies to take action against the thieves.

"Whoops! Just one minute!" said the Keeper of the Pearl. "I pardon all my guys who stole the pearl."

"That's outrageous!" cried the People of the Pearl.

"Outrageous?" said the Keeper. "You're the ones who elected an International Jewel Thief to guard your jewel and then gave him the power to pardon. Bye!"