The Park of the Ark

It came to pass that the myriad animal species were in danger of being hunted to extinction. And the people were alarmed. And it happened that one kind soul proposed a revolutionary solution.

"Let us create a great park," she said, "and cause all manner of animals to come into the park, that they may be safe."

"How will that make them safe?" asked a critic. "If I know where to find them, won't it be easier for me to pick them off?"

"Nay, truly do you not get it," said the kind soul, "for hunting shall be forbidden within the park. Even the presence of hunting weapons inside the park shall be forbidden."

And the people thought that this was a great idea and made it so.

Then a clever soul had a clever idea.

"Let us call this animal park 'the Park of the Ark,'" he said. "For is it not like unto the ark of Noah, which also saved the myriad species from extinction?"

And so the park was christened "the Park of the Ark," and the people came from all around to enjoy the great haven for all animals. But the clever guy had not exhausted his clever ideas.

"Hey, how about this?" he suggested. "Let us make a little wooden model of the ark to display inside the front gate, that the people may know that this is, indeed, the Park of the Ark. And it shall be a symbol, that all may know the purpose of the park. They shall see the ark and know that, just as Noah's Ark preserved and protected the animals, so too shall this park preserve and protect them. And, just as the park is known as the Park of the Ark, the ark shall be known as the Ark of the Park!"

Again, the people saw that this was a really cool idea, the model ark was duly made and duly placed inside the front gate of the Park of the Ark. And ever more people came to see the park and to pay respects to the Ark of the Park. This went on for many years, and the animals flourished. Yea, even species that were endangered flourished.

As time passed, the people saw that the park needed to be maintained. So people were hired to be the Caretakers of the park. And before long, the Caretakers noticed that abominations were taking place in the Park of the Ark, even at the revered Ark of the Park.

"Behold!" cried the Caretakers. "Some of the creatures are desecrating the Ark! The birds poop on it, and the sharp-clawed sharpen their claws on it, and the sharp-toothed gnaw upon it! We have called on them to cease, but they do not! This is the height of ingratitude, for they owe their very lives to the Ark! Truly must we do something about this!"

Some of the people allowed as how it wasn't really the Ark that the animals owed their lives to, but the Caretakers glared them down and said they were no better than those that fouled the Ark. And the great masses of the people agreed with the Caretakers.

"Yea," said they, "truly must the Ark be revered, and not belittled! Tsk, tsk!"

So the caretakers proposed revisions to the Park Rules, that befoulers of the Ark might be duly punished, and to this end, that weapons should be allowed inside the park for the express purpose of punishing transgressors. And hunting of Ark desecrators was decreed within the Park of the Ark, that the sanctity of the Ark of the Park might be protected.

Amen.