In the early days, the gods gave humankind peace, plenty, happiness, and good health.  And experimented with the nastier stuff.
    "Do you really think it's necessary to introduce suffering into the world?" asked Hera, Queen of the Gods. "It seems so cruel and unnecessary."
    "I just want to try a couple of things out," replied Zeus, King and Chief Tinkerer of the Gods. "See how it goes.  Anyway, we aren't happy, so why should they be?"
    "What 'couple of things?'" asked Hera suspiciously.
    "Just Greed, Mendacity, and Megalomania," said Zeus innocently.
    "That's three," quibbled Hera. "Not a couple."
    "Never mind," said Zeus. "I've created a prototype to give them a test run.  If these vices work out, I'll release a few more."
    "What prototype?" asked Hera.
    "Oh.  Just a woman.  I named her Pangeorgia."

    Pangeorgia immediately declared herself Queen of the World and set about stealing everything in sight in the name of the Crown.
    "We don't remember having a queen," complained the people.
    "Well, you have one now," said Pangeorgia. "Zeus himself has sent me to watch over you and manage your wealth for you."
    "We don't need that," said the people.
    "But Zeus has sent me to protect you," Pangeorgia ad-libbed. "There are all kinds of dangerous bad guys around, and you aren't smart enough or mean enough to defend yourselves.  But I am!"
    The people weren't convinced, but Pangeorgia quickly acquired some allies to help her convince them.  There was Chenias, who demolished people's houses and rebuilt them for only three times the original cost.  There was Jackas, who peeked into people's closets, looked under their beds, read their mail, and arrested them for ... whatever.  There was Tomas, who, claiming to be a close personal friend of Zeus, told everyone what Zeus wanted and cracked their skulls if they didn't comply.  And many more.

    "My goodness!" exclaimed Hera. "I thought you were trying out Greed, Mendacity, and Megalomania only on Pangeorgia.  What happened?"
    "They seem to have escaped the lab," said Zeus. "That sort of thing happens in science."
    "Well," said Hera, hands on hips, "what do you intend to do about it?"
    "I'm afraid it's too late to roll those vices back," said the Chief Tinkerer. "Genie out of the bottle and all that."
    "I hope you intend to scrap your plans to introduce more bad things into the world," chided Hera.
    "Oh, I suppose you're right," admitted Zeus. "Here's what I'm going to do.  I'll just put all the rest of the bad stuff in a box and warn Pangeorgia never to open it."
    "I have a bad feeling about that," warned Hera. "You know she'll break the celestial record on the 100 yard dash racing to open it."
    "Right again," sighed Zeus. "So, here's what I'll do instead.  I'll put the bad stuff in a box, warn Pangeorgia not to open it, and put a dragon down there to guard it."
    Hera shook her head skeptically.  "I don't know ..." she said.

    "An Evil Dragon has come among us!" cried Pangeorgia.
    "Where?  Where?" asked the people. "We don't see any dragons, evil or otherwise."
    "Well, maybe not exactly among us," said Pangeorgia, "but close enough.  It's planning to attack us with Mighty Dragon Weapons!"
    "Oh, no!" gasped the people.
    "Let's you go kill the dragon!" shouted Pangeorgia.
    But some of the people were a little better informed than others.
    "I understand the dragon is guarding a box," said a woman named Athena. "That wouldn't have anything to do with your eagerness to get rid of the dragon, would it?"
    Jackas wrote down her name.
    "The undoubtedly valuable box has nothing to do with it!" said Pangeorgia. "I have only your welfare at heart!"
    "I never heard anything about Mighty Dragon Weapons," said a guy named Hector.
    Jackas wrote down his name.
    "Fiery breath!" cried Pangeorgia. "Horrible teeth!  Slashing claws!  And huge wings that enable the dragon to deliver death and destruction in a matter of minutes!"
    "Have you seen any of this?" asked Athena.
    "Yes!" cried Pangeorgia. "No!  Maybe!  It doesn't matter!  If no one has seen the MDWs, it just proves that the dragon has hidden them!"
    "How could the dragon hide them?" asked Hector.
    "It doesn't matter anyway," intoned Pangeorgia. "We have to liberate the people from the dragon!"
    "And if we attack the dragon, won't we hurt the people who live near by?" asked Athena.
    "No, of course not!" said Pangeorgia. "Well, maybe a little.  But it's a small price to pay to get at that box.  I mean, to liberate them."
    "You know," said Athena, "if you kill the dragon and open the box, it's going to be nothing but trouble.  Famine, pestilence, war, and death.  All those things we don't even have words for yet."
    "Dragon sympathizer!" cried Pangeorgia.

    "I thought War was still in the box," remarked Hera.
    "I guess I misunderestimated Pangeorgia's creativity," said Zeus.

    And so the War against the Dragon, or WAD, was launched.  The dragon took one look at the Mighty Human Weapons and skedaddled.
    "Hooray!" crowed Pangeorgia. "Mission accomplished!  The Evil Dragon has been vanquished!  And some people thought we couldn't do it.  Now, don't you guys who were against the war feel stupid, huh?  Ok, let's get that box!"
    When Pangeorgia opened the box, all the ills of humankind flowed forth.  There were famine, disease, death, and all the rest. 
    "What's all this?" the people moaned.
    "It's the dragon's fault, of course," said Pangeorgia.
    "Where are the MDWs?" they asked.
    "Wait till we catch the dragon!" Pangeorgia replied. "Then you'll see them!"
    "All the hunger and disease is awful!" complained the people. "Of course, after living under your reign, it doesn't seem half as bad as it might have."
    "Well, Pangeorgia," said Athena, "I hate to say 'I told you so,' but you must admit you've gotten us into a huge mess."
    "I never admit anything," said Pangeorgia. "Everything's going great!"

    At length, a farmer noticed the dragon poking around his fields trying to find something to eat.  Considering the recently released box-dwellers Drought and Starvation, this was a singularly futile exercise.  However, the farmer dutifully popped a sack over the dragon and delivered it to the authorities.
    "I have captured the Evil Dragon!" boasted Pangeorgia. "Now don't you nay-sayers feel stupid?"
    "Hooray!  Hooray!" cheered the people.
    "Ok," said Pangeorgia. "We'll have a nice ceremony and kill it, and then everything will be all right."
    "Wait a minute," protested Hector. "That dragon doesn't have any wings.  I thought it was supposed to be able to toast us in minutes."
    "And now that you mention 'toast,'" offered Athena, "this thing can't breathe fire."
    "It's hiding the wings and the fire," replied Pangeorgia shamelessly. "Don't worry!  We'll find them!  In the meantime, we'll just kill the dragon.  That will make everyone feel good."
    "How can a dragon hide its wings and fire?" asked Hector.
    "It just can," insisted Pangeorgia. "Anyway, it doesn't matter.  I caught the dragon!"
    "Hooray!" cheered the people.
    "You know," said Athena uncooperatively, "everything we warned you about has come to pass.  How do you explain that in terms of your 'everything is great' claims?  And what, if anything, do you intend to do about it?"
    "Chenias, Jackas, Tomas!" called Pangeorgia. "Can't you do something about those two?"
    "I'll draw up the contract," said Chenias.
    "I know where they live and how to get into their houses," said Jackas.
    "Zeus wants them dead," said Tomas.

    "Is that so?" asked Hera.
    "Nah, 'course not," mumbled Zeus.
    "And you intend to do what about it?"
    "You know I don't interfere," said Zeus with crossed fingers. "But let me put it this way:  When the box was opened, the moron quadruplets stuck their heads in up to their necks.  These things have a way of sorting themselves out."