"Ok, Figgis.  Now, here's the plan ..."
    "I beg your pardon?"  Jonathan looked down the length of the table at the scowling Chairman.
    "Don't tell me you don't know what we called you in for?"
    "The trees aren't producing," said Jonathan, a bit disconcerted. "Since I'm the Orchard Manager, I, uh, thought you wanted my input."
    "Input?  Phooey!" said the Chairman. "We on the Board have a plan!"
    "But I have some ideas about why the fruit is so shriveled, sour, and sparse."
    "Not interested," said the Chairman dismissively. "We have it all figured out.  We're going to fire all the fruit pickers."
    "Fire the pickers?"
    "Is there an echo in here?" snapped the Chairman. "Yes, fire the pickers!  And I wouldn't get too comfortable myself, if I were you, Figgis!  We need a complete staff turnover to coax those little suckers to be sweet."
    "If I may be so bold," persisted Jonathan, "it would help a lot if you watered the trees."
    "Not our responsibility," countered the Chairman. "This is a fruit company, not a tree company!  The trees have to find their own water!"
    "So, you're just going to fire the pickers?"
    "Of course not!" barked the Chairman. "We're also going to institute rigorous inspections!"
    "Inspections?" peeped Jonathan without comprehension.
    "Of course!  We'll have both scheduled and surprise inspections.  That'll plump those fruit up!"
    "Um, there is another little problem that I noticed."  Jonathan was doing his best to sound nonconfrontational.  "It's those sun screens you put up around the orchard.  The trees can't thrive without sunshine."
    "How's that our problem?" the Chairman replied. "We can't be responsible for supplying the trees with energy."
    "So, instead, you're firing the pickers and popping surprise inspections on the fruit.  Is that about it?"
    "Not by a long shot!" said the Chairman. "We will take severe disciplinary action against any fruit that fails to perform!  Two warnings, then out of the orchard!"
    "How about a little fertilizer once in a while?" Jonathan suggested.
    "How many times do I have to tell you?" chided the Chairman. "This is a fruit company ..."
    "Not a tree company," Jonathan sighed.
    "Good!  Glad you finally understand!" said the Chairman. "Now, call in the Chicken Yard Manager about that fox problem.  Those chickens have to be disciplined!"
 

There is a new plan for improving "low-performing" schools.  (Translate:  "schools where the kids get low scores on standardized tests.")  It's called "reconstitution."  The method is to replace the principal, gut the staff, and change the curriculum.  No consideration is given to societal problems such as unemployment, poverty, crime, and drug abuse that would render any of those cosmetic changes moot.