"Omar, how long would you say you've been a rainmaker?"
    "More than 20 years, Abdul."
    "And would you say that you've enjoyed rainmaking?"
    "Oh, yes.  And I think the record shows how successful I've been," added Omar modestly.
    "Hmm.  Yes, yes.  Heaven knows we have a need for rainmakers.  In an area like this, where the rainfall is only a little above average, it could go either way."
    Omar fidgeted uneasily.  "So, why did you want to talk to me today?"
    "I'll get right to the point," said Abdul.  "Our Business Partners are unhappy with your work."
    "Oh, dear!  Why?  I've made rain, haven't I?"
    "That's as may be, Omar, but you haven't given them what they want.  They want great torrents.  You've given them showers.  They want wet rice.  You've given them, well, you haven't delivered."
    "Well, this isn't exactly Southeast Asia," Omar reminded him.  "Aren't beautiful gardens and abundant grain enough?  What do they expect?  Wait.  Never mind.  You just told me what they expect.  So, what happens now?  Do I get another chance?  Do I get reassigned to a different farm?"
    "Omar, I wish it were that easy.  These BPs have put the Black Mark on you.  With that, we can't assign you to any other rainmaking project.  But don't despair!  I have good news for you.  We do have another assignment for you."  Abdul smiled.
    "I know I'm going to regret asking," said Omar, "but what is it?"
    "I'm glad you did ask," said Abdul brightly.  "It's Rainmaking Support!  You report to Madame Fatimah tomorrow!"
    A barely perceptible shiver ran down Omar's spine.

    Omar entered Madame Fatimah's cube with some trepidation.
    "So, what does one do here in Rainmaking Support?" he asked.
    "That's, 'Ma'am!  What does one do here in Rainmaking Support, Ma'am!'" Madame Fatimah replied.  "And I notice that, although it's 8:03 a.m., you haven't called in to report your tardiness.  Of course, you'll have to work until at least 5:03 p.m. to make that up."
    "Glub," said Omar.
    "That's, 'Ma'am!  Glub, Ma'am!'"

    Fortunately, the relationship improved from there.  A little.
    "What we do," explained Madame Fatimah, "is to support the rainmakers, to make their jobs easier, and to ensure that they shriek in agony in the embrace of our draconian procedures!"
    "Ma'am!  Could you be more specific, Ma'am?"
    "I'd love to!" smiled Madam Fatimah graciously.  "As you should know already, whenever a rainmaker proposes a rainmaking event, it is our job to be sure that it is done properly.  Do they have the required permits?  All six of them?  If so, can we find another one or two to add?  Have they filled out all the required forms?  In octuplicate?  Do they have enough documentation?  We have scales to measure that.  They won't register anything under five pounds.  Is the rain collection equipment up to specs?  Rain gutters must be 5/8 of an inch thick, for example.  All requests must be processed within four hours of receipt."
    "Ma'am!  How can I check all that stuff out in four hours, Ma'am?"
    Madame Fatimah laughed.  "It's easy, really.  You just look until you find a mistake.  Then kick it back to the rainmaker to fix the mistake.  Each time they resubmit, it's a new four hours.  The faster you find a mistake, the better your metrics look.  And you can keep those suckers going like that for weeks.  If you look at it properly, it's kind of like the process for making hail.  Hee, hee!"
    "Um, metrics?  I mean, Ma'am!  Um, metrics, Ma'am?"
    "Excuse me?  Oh, metrics.  I was still admiring my hail metaphor.  My motto is, 'If you can't measure it, it doesn't exist.  And you can't hang anyone's ass for it.'  You will have to account for every minute of the day.  For example, this meeting has to be recorded under the code for 'Meetings with Manager to Explain Procedures.'  When you go to the john, you will record your time under 'Men's Room #1,' 'Men's Room #2,' 'Men's Room Wash Hands Only,' or 'Men's Room Other.'  The women would record their restroom sorties under ..."
    "Ma'am!  I think I've got it, Ma'am.  Isn't that a little too specific?  You could spend all your time just recording your time."
    "That's, 'Ma'am, ...'"
    "Ma'am!  Yeah, yeah, Ma'am."
    "We do have a code for recording your time.  Actually, that one and the one for 'Meetings with Manager to Explain Procedures' account for about 80%."

    And so the days droned on in Rainmaker Support.  One day, Omar ran in excitedly with a remarkable discovery ...
    "Ma'am!  There's a great big crack in the reservoir, Ma'am!"
    Madame Fatimah gave him a quizzically raised eyebrow.
    "We don't have a code for finding cracks in the reservoir," she said.
    "Well, Ma'am!  I think we'd better make one, Ma'am.  Cause if we don't, there's going to be a major catastrophe, Ma'am.  And we are supposed to be checking rain collection equipment, aren't we, Ma'am?"
    "I think  you missed a couple of 'Ma'ams' in there, but you're getting better.  No, we don't mess with the reservoir.  Takes too much time.  I've never found it to be productive."

                                                     *********

    This story was one of two documents discovered among the ancient ruins of a defunct civilization located in the middle of what is now the Sahara desert.  Both documents were written on parchment.  They survived in pristine condition due to the total lack of any moisture whatsoever in the area.  The other document apparently originated in the Human Resources Department of the state.  Its subject was the difficulty of recruiting and retaining good rainmakers.