A CHANGE IN CULTURE
                                                                                                                                                copyright © 1999 by Robert L. Blau     "I want to thank each and every one of you for coming to this critically important meeting. I'm going to talk to you briefly about the change in culture that our agency is about to undergo. Then I will answer any questions you have. I'm expecting the Boss to show up a little later to offer his perspectives."
    The speaker looked out upon the sea of expectant faces before continuing.
    "Now, I know that some of you question the wisdom of this change, but it must be done. We must look on this as an outstanding opportunity to proactively promote individual responsibility among our, uh, clients. They have depended on us for too long. Anyway, the Boss says this comes straight from the top. Once the time limit is up, it's going to be sink or swim."
    "Sir," queried a man in the first row. "How are we going to encourage this self-reliance? Are we supposed to teach our clients how to swim?"
    "A very good question," the speaker responded. "No, we cannot be expected to teach them to swim. What we can do is communicate the new message in positive ways. Put up posters of happy people swimming where our clients can see them. Post ads for swimming lessons. That sort of thing. And dress professionally to set a good example."
    "Excuse me," ventured a woman near the back of the hall. "What do you mean by 'dressing professionally?' And how is that going to help?"
    "Everyone knows what that means. Neckties, suits. And it's helpful because ... everyone agrees that those things are good!" spluttered the speaker. "Besides, we've been trying to get you guys to dress up for years. Neckties cut off the flow of blood to the brain. It makes the regulations easier to understand."
    Hands were popping up all over the hall.
    "Some of our clients can't read. What about them?"
    "Some of our clients don't have transportation and can't afford it. What about them?"
    "Are there going to be enough opportunities for all of our clients?"
    "Ah," said the speaker. "All of your questions can be summed up in one: How can we continue to be seen as a caring agency?"
    "Um, I don't think so. They're about our clients' lack of skills and the scarcity of resources."
    "How can we continue to be seen as caring?" continued the speaker, oblivious to the interruption. "Tell them the gravy train has pulled out of the station, and they're not on it! But be positive! Put up those posters!"
    A man in the second row raised his hand nervously. "You don't suppose these changes will ever come back on us, do you?" he asked. "I mean, we're not like them, are we?"
    "Of course not!" said the speaker reassuringly.
    "The Boss is coming! The Boss is coming!"
    The cry came  from the back of the hall.
    "Well," said the speaker. "It's time to hear from the Boss. Noah, what's the word?"
    "Seven days," said the Boss. "Then it's sink or swim."