no more nukes

No More Nukes!

    Good evening. As the Chair of No More Nukes!, it is my signal honor to present to you our plan for eliminating nuclear power and its attendant expenses, inefficiencies, and dangers from our lives.
    Most of you are well aware of the negative aspects of nuclear energy and of how these negative aspects, particularly the disposal of nuclear wastes, disproportionately affect the poor. So I am going to proceed directly to the plan. We propose to build nuclear power plants and waste dumps in every community in the country.
    This plan has been developed with ... Uh, there seem to be some questions from the audience. Yes?
    "How the bleep-bleep-bleep will building more nukes solve the nuke problem?"
    Ah, I was going to explain that later, but since you asked, we can cover that now. You see, it's always the poor who suffer from these facilities. It isn't fair.
    "Right. So let's shut down all those frankengenerators and clean up the mess, so that no one has to suffer from them."
    I appreciate your point of view, but that wouldn't be equitable. That would leave the middle and upper classes virtually unscathed. Before we can proceed to elimination, there must be a balance of suffering.
    "But don't you see that your way just means suffering for everybody, including the poor ..."
    Yes, that's fair.
    "No, it isn't! It's insane!"
    Insane, but fair. That's the important bit.
    "But when would we ever get to eliminating nuclear energy as a power source and cleaning up all the waste, which, as you must know, hangs around longer than God?"
    In due time, in due time. First, everyone has to know what it's like to live on top of a nuclear waste dump.
    "But then, it's going to be too late! Don't you see that? We should be putting our efforts into stopping this evil now, so that everyone benefits."
    Fairness first, I always say.
    "You're barmy. You know that."
    Perhaps. But equitable to a fault. This is No More Nukes! for lots more nukes. Thank you.