No Health Hazard

The dawn exploded with clamor. The Mayor twitched his long, fluffy tail and ambled to the entrance to greet his raucous constituents.

"What seems to be the trouble, ladies?" he smiled affably.

"Yeronner, Yeronner, Yerroner!" gabbled the goose.

"It's a catastrophe!" quacked the duck.

"The sky is falling!" shrieked the chicken.

"Ah, indeed?" he replied with muted skepticism. "Ms. ... Little, is it? And oh, yes. Ms. Lucky. And Ms. Loosey, I'm sure."

"Yessir, yessir, yessir!" honked the goose.

"The sky is falling!" squawked the chicken.

"Please calm yourselves, ladies," said the Mayor soothingly, "and tell me what leads you to this cataclysmic conclusion."

"It's right here," replied the goose, producing a light blue hunk of rock.

"It hit Chickie right on the comb!" cried the duck indignantly.

"The sky is falling!" screeched the chicken, whose verbal skills seemed to be limited to this single phrase.

"Ah, but this is just a rock," said the Mayor. "It is blue, I admit, but that is surely a coincidence. The sky wouldn't be made of rock. A piece of sky would be more like a ... puff of air, don't you think?"

"Well, ... I suppose ...," allowed Goosey Loosey.

"If the Mayor says so," said Ducky Lucky hesitantly.

"The sky is falling," grumbled Chicken Little, but at reduced volume.

"Now, I want you all to go back to the barnyard and tell everyone that the sky is fine, and there is absolutely no danger whatsoever. Ok?"

"I guess so," agreed Goosey Loosey.

"Mayor Loxy must know what's best," added Ducky Lucky.

"Sky's fallin'," muttered Chicken Little.

"And if anyone has any doubts, you just tell them I said that there is no danger. Or just send them to me," said Foxy Loxy. "And when you're done, please join me for breakfast."

"Oh, yes!" blushed the birds.

"Or ... make that Ms. Little for breakfast, Ms. Lucky for lunch, and Ms. Loosey for dinner. I want to be able to give each of you my full attention!"

As the three birds waddled off, the Mayor tossed the sky-blue rock lazily from one paw to the other and squinted hard at the sun.

"Yes," he mused. "Right there next to the sun. Just a little crack, right now. You could miss it, if you didn't know what you were looking for. Remarkably perceptive for a chicken. But what am I supposed to say to a barnyard full of panicky critters - The sky is falling? Run for your lives?"

On 1/8/2007, New Yorkers awoke to a strong gas smell that sent at least 19 people to the hospital. City officials, including Mayor Michael Bloomberg, declared the odor innocuous. They didn't know what it was, but they knew it wasn't dangerous. Of course, in a city of 20 million people, what can you say - The sky is falling? Run for your lives?