No Aid of Comfort

No Aid or Comfort

You think you know someone, and then ... bang! Something like this happens.

"Lucius!" I cried. "You don't support our fighting men!"

"Sure I do," he lied. "If you supported them, you wouldn't be so eager to send them off to die for nothing."

"How can you say, 'for nothing?'" I gasped. "They die for you and me! Don't you believe that our republic is worth dying for?"

"The republic may be worth dying for," said Lucius, "but we don't have a republic anymore. It's an empire. Haven't you noticed?"

"Lies! Traitorous lies!" I whispered, barely able to breathe. "Think about where these slanders come from, Lucius! Think of how you give aid and comfort to the enemy by repeating them! We must never, never give aid or comfort to the enemy!"

"I'm afraid you're confused about who the enemy is, old friend," he babbled idiotically.

Then it hit me.

"You hate Christians," I said with dawning realization.

"Hate Christians?" he sputtered nonsensically. "I can't say that I do. I don't think much of them. Kind of an odd lot, I'd say. But hate? No. I'd say that was more true of our demented leaders. Why else do you suppose they throw Christians to the lions?"

"Demented? Demented?" I screamed, unable to control my temper any longer. "That's what they said about Caligula!"

"Uh, yes," he replied. "It was."

"That's what they say about all the great ones!" I continued, pressing my point.

"Maybe," he admitted. "And about all the demented ones, too. Anyway, this Nero guy is on a funny farm by himself. He's got to be worse than any Gallic barbarian."

I couldn't believe my ears. "How dare you compare our leader to barbarians!" My rebuke was withering. "Our leader, who has only the good of the republic at heart! You owe every Roman citizen several hundred apologies!"

"Look," he back-pedaled, "this all started with you inviting me to the Colosseum to watch the, uh, games. I don't go to those things. I'm against throwing people to the lions for the amusement of the upper classes. Let's just leave it at that."

"Aid and comfort to the lions!" I thundered with the righteousness of Jupiter. "Support the Christians! No aid or comfort to the lions! No way!"