A Monster Scandal

It was Igor who spilled the beans. "Mahthta made a monthta," he lithped, "and it'th going around killing people."

I was shocked. Shocked!

"Have you heard the news?" I asked my friend Klaus. "That Igor has a lot of nerve, ratting out his master like that! He'll never work in this town again, you know. And good minioning jobs are hard to find. Especially in authentic medieval castles with certifiable madmen. But never mind that! What's the Old Man doing, making homicidal monsters, eh?"

"What we told him to do, I suppose," said Klaus with an irksome lack of urgency.

"What are you talking about?" I fumed. "I thought you'd be outraged, as I am!"

"Do you remember the werewolf attacks about 12 years ago?" asked Klaus. "Everyone was really scared."

"I was really scared," I admitted.

"And everyone insisted that someone 'do something,' right?"

"I insisted that someone do something," I agreed.

"And the Old Man said he could protect us from the werewolves," continued Klaus, "provided that we built him a laboratory and let him create a monster. And everyone agreed and said ..."

"Whatever it takes," I finished for him. "I know I said, 'Whatever it takes.' But that was supposed to be a nice, polite monster that protected us from werewolves, not a homicidal beast that prayed on regular people."

"Don't you remember Dr. Frankenstein saying that we had to cast a wide net because anyone might be a werewolf, and they were extremely cunning?"

"Well, ... of course," I replied. "I said we had to cast a wide net. But not this wide. If you're not a werewolf, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Anyway, the Old Man seems to have whipped up a lot of monster in a pretty short time."

"He has probably been working on it for decades," said Klaus.

"Decades?" I sputtered. "Why, that's a torches and pitchforks offense!"

"Was a torches and pitchforks offense, maybe," replied Klaus, "but not anymore. Not since we begged him to build a monster and gave him all the tools and funding he needed."

"Ok," I admitted, "we did beg him to make a monster, but we didn't expect him to make a monster! And I, for one, am not going to put up with it! I am starting a petition, demanding a complete investigation! And I expect you to sign it."

"And to whom will this petition be addressed?" asked Klaus.

"Why, to Dr. Frankenstein, of course!" I raged. "Who else?"

The guy can be so dense.