copyright © 2007 by Robert L. Blau

Dear Sir,

Thank you for contacting my office about an issue that is so important to all Americans. I appreciate having the benefit of your comments on this matter.

As you know, the scientific debates on this issue are many and complex. Even though it is uncertain and unresolved, I support voluntary reductions. This shows what a fair, moderate - even progressive - guy I am. Because, you know, it would be very reasonable for me to say that you liberals are just plain full of shit. But I don't! (In so many words.)

In addition to the science, which as we all know, and as I repeat for emphasis, is still wide open to debate, there are serious economic issues to consider. Ill-considered tampering could have staggering effects on our economy. Let me put it so that even you can understand: Your job is on the line, and you are courting an astronomical rise in the price of consumer goods!

I remain open minded, even though the preponderance of evidence shows that people of color are inferior, and any tinkering with the slave economy is likely to send cotton prices through the roof. As I said to President Buchanan just the other day, moderation and good sense must be our watchwords on this vexed issue of slavery.

As a member of the United States Senate, I welcome open dialogue about all issues, including slavery, and I will work to enact effective policies based on sound scientific and economic principles.

Sincerely,