The Missing Piece

From the Pentagon Inspector General's investigation of the Pentagon response on 9/11/2001 ...

Inspector General: So, General, when did you notice that the item was missing?

General: On the morning of 9/11/2001.

IG: And did you or your staff make any attempt to locate this item?

Gen: Of course, we did, sir. We turned the Pentagon upside down. We searched inside and out, but all, unfortunately, to no avail.

IG: I see. Some witnesses before this commission have mentioned the Geographic Positioning System. So, you have a GPS?

Gen: Oh, yes, sir. Top of the line. Latest release, and all that.

IG: Did you use your GPS to locate the item?

Gen: Oh, yes. We tried. No luck.

IG: Did you try anything else?

Gen: Bloodhounds, sir. A dismal failure.

IG: Well, did you try the time-honored method, General?

Gen: Time-honored ... ?

IG: Yes, you know. Both hands?

Gen: Oh, of course. Yes, sir, we tried that, too.

IG: So, what you're telling me is, with the support of the entire Pentagon, a state-of-the-art Geographic Positioning System, and a pack of bloodhounds, you still couldn't find your ass with both hands?

Gen: Well, yeah, but at least there was nothing malicious about it.

A May 2005 report by the Pentagon Inspector General blames inaccurate information provided by Pentagon officials about the 9/11 terrorist attacks (at least in part) on bureaucratic incompetence. That's so much better.